The New Star

Mother?

Next to music, auto work was the thing that kept Ryan relaxed. It allowed him to keep his hands busy even while he thought about other things. His Sectionals performance kept coming back to mind. He knew that song inside and out, he'd seen the movie, sung it countless times. But that day had been different. It was almost like he was Tony, waiting for something. Something had always been missing from his life, and that day he'd felt something, there was something coming. He just had to wait.

At the same moment that Ryan was musing over his performance, Shelby Corcoran was thinking about the same thing halfway across town in her office in Carmel High. She'd been feeling out of sorts ever since she'd seen Ryan at the Sectionals meet. She still couldn't get over the idea that her child, her baby, had grown into the young man who had the audience enthralled during his performance.

She had been a surrogate for two gay men, Hiram and Leroy Berry, back in 1994. They had placed a newspaper add offering $30,000 for a surrogate mother. Shelby was 21, just graduating from OSU, and she needed money to go to New York. She'd dreamed for years of making it big on Broadway, and she knew she had the talent. She'd met with the Berrys, they had liked her, and the deal had been struck. She thought it was a good one. She'd felt a slight twinge when she thought that she'd be giving up her baby, but it was quickly assuaged by her belief that her baby would be going to a loving home. She quickly signed a contract stipulating that she would have no contact with the child until it reached legal age. She thought it would be fine.

She'd been wrong.

She'd finally become pregnant after a fifth round of IVF. The Berrys had paid for all of the appointments, all the supplements, pretty much everything she needed. Then she had felt her baby kick inside of her. And she fell in love. It grew more when she found out she was carrying a boy. She'd thought she had wanted a girl, but she loved the little boy growing inside her. She talked to him, sang to him. She found that he settled down whenever she started singing.

She hadn't been allowed to hold him when he was born. The two men hadn't wanted her to get any more attached than she already was. They had seen her falling in love with the baby, and they were afraid that even with the contract in place, that she would change her mind.

She had called her parents that night. She hadn't been planning to tell them about the surrogacy. But that was when she thought she could give up her baby just like that. But when she had given birth and her baby was gone… she'd needed her mom. Her parents had driven for three hours to Lima from their home in Akron in the middle of December at her call. Shelby had burst into tears as soon as they had entered her hospital room, and the whole story had come spilling out, including another secret that she'd had to keep. Her parents had cried with her, for the grandchild that they might never meet.

She'd gone to New York, as planned, but while she had starred in a few off-Broadway productions she hadn't made it like she'd wanted to. She'd gone to countless auditions, but had never gotten a big role. Several directors had told her that she was missing something, and she knew what it was. She knew she'd lost her drive, because Broadway wasn't her dream anymore.

She was missing her son.

A knock sounded on her door, jerking her back to the present. "Coach Corcoran?" It was Jesse St. James, lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline. "Everyone's in the auditorium now."

Their Sectionals competition was this weekend, and while they were sure to win, it wouldn't do to slack off just before their performance. Shelby pulled herself together and nodded at Jesse. "I'll be right there."

"Are you ok?"

Shelby glared at him. The boy shrank back a bit but remained in the doorway. He was the best singer in the glee club, and he was closer to Shelby than most of the other students. In fact he was more of an assistant than a student. Shelby contemplated telling him for a moment, before deciding that this was her problem and that she didn't need to share with him. "I'm just fine, Jesse. Go get started on the warm-ups." It was spoken as a clear dismissal, reminding him that she was the teacher here. Jesse obeyed and left the room. Shelby followed after a few minutes.

The rehearsal ended three hours later, and Shelby began to close the auditorium. She went up on the stage, running her hands over the piano, not quite playing anything in particular. She soon found herself playing the tune of Somewhere, ironically also from West Side Story, like the song Ryan had sung just a few days before. She sighed and closed the piano, shutting off all the lights and locking up.

She arrived at her empty home about an hour later. She poured herself a glass of wine and went up to her bedroom where she turned on some music. West Side Story soundtrack. She'd go insane if she just sat here in the silence. Opening her bedside drawer she pulled out several fuzzy ultrasound pictures, the only pictures she had of her baby boy. Gazing at them for a few seconds, she began to sing with the music. Someday, somewhere. She'd get to know her son. She just had to figure out how.