"Christy?" I said. She looked at me. The sun was hanging directly behind her and shafts of light would peek through the gaps between her hair when the wind decided to play with it."Yeah?" She asked. " You know how I've always said I was alone? Like there was never anyone for me? The way iI'd be really depressed and lonely? I never really appreciated how much I relied on you to always tell me I was wrong at that.. I never realized that it was always you who was there for me.. Christy promise me you'll never leave me?"
Christina giggled. " What's gotten into you Cherry? I've always been around you and I always will be. Okay? Although I'm not sure about the time when you'll be a wizened old grandma!" She laughed and ran out towards the sea. It was a beautiful moment. The sun was just about to set and the sky had turned a strong shade of orange. The waves were lapping at my feet gently as if promising that everything would always be fine. I ran out to her.
Christina, my best friend . She laughed and kicked the water at my face. I shrieked and pushed her under. She surfaced, spitting out water. And pulled me in. Laughing , we dragged each other up and looked at the setting sun, holding hands. A wordless promise was made and the waves pulled it towards the sea, sealing our promise. Time seemed to have stopped for us. It was the beautiful second just before the sun loses its will to keep hanging and then dips away.it was a time of possibilities.
Christina picked a pebble from the shore and threw it out in the sea. The waves leapt towards it and the pebble was gone, folded beneath layers of the deep blue sea and gone along with our promise , both to be forever kept in the depths of the sea.
That was our first promise and the beginning of what we were going to be.
A few months later, I was sitting beside my mother. She was admitted to the hospital and the doctor had told us that it was cancer. But it had spread way too far, that it was the last stage. And a few days later , the clumps of hair that fell from her head or the painful cramps that she endured peaked so much that she was retired to her bed. 'Sick-bed' the doctor said. but when I looked at her face, at the sunken eyes with smudges of a deep black-purple color, at the cheek bones that jutted out, at her skin that looked as fragile as paper, ' death-bed' was the word that came to my mind. And sure enough, she closed her eyes and gave a sigh and moved no more. The funeral was a blur with moving figures of people dressed in black. I still can't remember what conversations went through when people came to give their words of comfort when all I wanted was to be alone and to remember the warmth of her arms around me. I could see but couldn't hear. What could their words ever do? why was it necessary to hear what they had to say? They could never bring her back.. No one ever could. I didn't want to hear what memories they had of her. I just wanted someone to tell me they would be there for me whenever I needed someone. But those people had come to make an appearance , not to stay.Then a small, warm hand closed around my shoulder and without looking at who it was, without a uttering a word, I turned and buried my face on the shoulder. because I knew, it could only be Christina who would not feel the need to say words, who would know what I want even if I didn't say." Shh.. it's okay. I'm here. I'll always be here." "But it c-cant be okay! She's g-gone Christy! Gone!" I sobbed into her sweater. " I know. I know." And I believed that she knew because her mother had suffered a similar fate not too long ago. It was another promise. That we would always be there for each other.
As the years went by, our friendship grew stronger and more promises were made. We were inseparable, Christina and I. If secrets were told between us, it another promise to never repeat it to anyone else. Everyday that we said goodbye, there was always a silent promise to meet again. We made mistakes, we laughed and we joked. We would help one another create whole conversations for the recent flames of our lives. It was the case of the blind leading the blind. It was as if there weren't separate roads of our lives, because it seemed that we travelled on the same road, climbed the same mountains and went through all the ups and downs simply because we always had each other.
It was a few years later that something out of the ordinary happened. By that time I was twenty. It was a letter that arrived that fateful day. I looked at the sender's name.It was Christina.And the first thing that struck me was the oddity of it. Because we didn't feel the need to write to each other because we couldn't bear to wait for the reply. I unfolded the parchment inside and began to read.As every word sunk in, a huge twisted ball of emotions built up in my throat and choked me. I was gasping by the time I reached the ending. I couldn't believe it.It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be true. I tried reading the letter again.But this time nothing made sense. Except for one sentence : " I quit, goodbye Cherry, I love you, I'll always love you, goodbye.". So it was true. It wasn't a letter. It was a suicide note. Christina had suicided. And then I couldn't take it anymore. I rolled up the paper and threw it away. I fell to my knees and doubled over, making noises that were even foreign for me. My world had fallen apart. And it was then that I truly realized how lonely I was. After having seen the lifeless corpses of my father and mother I couldn't even bring myself to imagine Christina lying there, having gone to a place from where there was no return. I groped around me, expecting to find her hand stretched out for me but catching only the empty air. I waited ,it seemed ,forever to have her come up behind me and hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. That I would always have her. But I knew I didn't. I couldn't understand. Why would she leave me stranded in the world like this. And the fact that she had chosen to drown herself in that very same sea where everything we had had begun, seemed like putting salt in a wound. Life seemed to be laughing at me right then. Christina had joined the depths of the sea along with that pebble she had thrown in so long ago. They were irretrievable. Life and the sea had promised to never bring them back just the way she had broken hers to ever meet again.
