Tags @The_Green_Dragon

Crazy Dreams

Hey there, Beautiful Readers. ;3

Alright, I feel awful for not being on this account frequently, as of late. It's been difficult to find time to check wattpad this school year, since I've been trying to  maintain a decent grade in both my first AP class, and my trigonometry class, while also juggling a social life, babysitting my siblings, and getting at least five hours of sleep per night.

So to the friends and the authors on this sight I've neglected in my time away, I apologize. I hope to be more active on this account as the year goes on, and I fully adjust to these higher level classes.

A lot of things have happened since I last posted a chapter in this book... story... thing. I figured I may as well update it, both to get out the information and show people that I'm not dead (at least not yet.)

I wanted to start by saying, that my long term crush and I... (I believe I've mentioned him before in a previous chapter,) are officially together and have been as of September 4th! So uh, yeah guys. I guess it really is possible for your crush to be just as interested in you as you are in them. Crazy, right? I didn't think it would ever actually happen, but here we are. Hopefully we can make it last for awhile.

Also, lucky me, he discovered my new account. So for all I know he could be reading this right now. If that's the case... Hi Novio. XD

Let's see... what else? It's my half birthday in two more days, which wouldn't normally be a big occasion. But in this case, I'll be 15 and a half, meaning that I can get my temps and start driving! Well, in the presence of a legal guardian, anyway. But still, I'm excited!

In other news, I've been having some pretty crazy nightmares as of late. Last week, there was only one day where I didn't have some type of bad dream. It's not too bad, and they've stopped for now because I really thought through them and forced myself to figure out why I was getting them. 

Some of them have been really disturbing and morbid, and a lot of them are really detailed. So I'm just going to list a few of them, the shortened versions of what I can remember. 

1. I was laying on the ground, in between my best girl friend and my boyfriend. At one point, my boyfriend was running his hands over my lower back, which was really unlike him. When I turned to tell him to watch how low he was moving his hands (Sorry Novio,awkward dream T~T) I realized that it wasn't him at all, but a man with a blurry face. I glanced over the man's shoulder, and saw that my boyfriend was laying farther away, covered and blood and dead. The situation was same for my best girl friend, on my opposite side. 

Panicking, I stood up and ran to the exit of the room, but when I threw open the doors, I realized that I was standing in the middle of a deteriorated and warped version of my father's old home. I knew that I was dreaming at this point, and normally I can wake myself by saying "Wake up, wake up," under my breath in my sleep, but for whatever reason, this time my voice was caught in my throat. So I had to race through the halls of my father's crumbling house,   while being chased by that same blurry faced man from before. 

Finally, I managed to "open my eyes" in real life, only to find that I was still hallucinating. Because there was a pair of legs swaying in midair, right beside my bed. Too afraid to look up, I tried to reach for the lamp on my nightstand, but my entire body from my neck down was paralyzed. 

Suddenly I heard a voice whisper, "Look at what you've done." I turned my head and saw my boyfriend, still bloody and with lifeless eyes, standing in the corner of the room. He was speaking, but his mouth wasn't moving. He again said, "Look at what you've done, and accept it. Only then can you wake up." 

So I shifted my gaze upwards, tearing up as I did so, because from the ceiling my little sister was hanging from a rope. I gasped, and actually woke up, with the words "It's your fault" echoing in my head. 

2. This particular dream was one that took place a little ways in the future. I can tell because in it, I had already received my life guarding certification and had landed myself a job at my local pool. Anyway, the pool had reached it's maximum capacity, yet more people, mostly teenagers, continued to jump in wildly despite my protests. I began to blow my whistle as things grew out of control and there were more people in the water than there was actual water, but it was as if I was invisible. 

From the deep end of the pool, I spotted my other little sister, Cora, who is too young to really know to swim. She was drowning, and there wasn't a path for me to be able to reach her. I was completely hysterical, shoving people and screaming at them to move out of the way so I could go help her, but no one took notice to what was happening around them. I was stuck watching as my little sister died in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to help her. 

3. In this dream, a blurry faced man with a knife was attacking me and my friends. For whatever reason, my entire group wasn't able to defend themselves against this one man even working together, so they were all getting cut up and bloody. Fearing for their safety and my own, I gave the man with the knife a particularly hard shove, but not before he jabbed the weapon into my temple. At the same time I screamed, the attacker lost his balance, and ended up toppling over the railing of a bridge down to the sharp stones nearly fifty feet below him. 

The roles were reversed in this nightmare. Rather than having someone murder my friends, I myself was the murderer, even though I didn't actually intend to hurt the guy so badly. With the knife still sticking out of my head, I turned to my best girl friend and begged her to get me to a hospital. But instead of helping me, she just glared, shook her head, and said "Why would you do that? Why did you kill him? He did nothing wrong. But you... you belong in prison." She walked off, and left me alone with the other people in my group. 

I repeated the process for each friend, and got similar reactions. All of them either blamed me or made up some excuse as to why they couldn't help, until my boyfriend was the last one left. Barely concious at this point, I begged him to at least call an ambulance before I bled out. And instead, he watched with sad eyes, and muttered, "I thought I knew you. But it turns out that you're just like your bastard of a father. People like you don't deserve help." And he too turned, and left me completely alone. I woke up as soon as I reached out my hand, then passed out.

There have been so many more, but I'm sure you're all getting the gist of it. I was losing so much sleep over this, and my fears at night were starting to leak into my daily life. Due to paranoia, I consistently asked people if they were okay, to the point where it was getting ANNOYING. Like, REALLY annoying. I was even getting on my own nerves. 

But it was impacting me so much, that I realized I'd have to get to the bottom of what was causing these nightmares in order for them to stop. It took one full night before I realized that there was one same underlying theme in each and every one of the dreams- that I was being abandoned in someway or another. My friends and family members were leaving me, by death, by choice, or by other circumstances. 

I never really thought I was afraid of being alone. But I guess there's always been a subconscious thought that if someone as important as a father figure could leave my life in an instant, it can happen with anyone, at anytime. And as soon as I thought about that, I broke down into tears. It took a little while to accept, but since then I haven't had a single nightmare. ...*Knocks on wood*

So, that was an update that was kind of all over the place. But there's just so much to talk about! I'm interested... to anyone who reads this, feel free to comment any strange dreams or nightmares you'd like to share. And tell me how you all have been. I've missed ya! </3