Lost Voices

Introduction

Things were always hard for me. I was never the loudest opinion. My voice always lost in the crowd when I tried to speak up. I couldn't keep relationships going. It was my fault alway had been. Always will be. I couldn't. It meant getting close to people. It meant trusting people. And that was just something I wasn't able to do. It meant talking. Oh the ugly word. Talking. Because talking meant being honest. Sharing secrets. Somethings just weren't meant to be shared. Being alone was simple. Easy even. No talking. No trusting. No competing to be heard. It was just me, myself and I. And I actually liked it. No judgements. No smart comments. Just my own opinions. They were the only ones that mattered.
People quickly give up on you if you refuse to speak. They stop trying. Not that they ever tried much in the first place but even those pathetic efforts were dropped. They soon stopped asking questions. Even the mediocre ones like "how's your day going?" They gave up on even the simplest of things like saying hello. Most people would take offence to that. Not even the common decency to greet me. I didn't care though. If anything it was a relief. I didn't have to pander to their pathetic ways, only to be used over and over again. It was how it usually went, and guess what? I grew tired of it. Why bother trying when I was just going to be broken time and time again? You can fix broken things but after a while they lose their shape and don't look the same as how they started off. And I fear that's exactly what happened to me.