Lost Voices

Chapter 1

It was a surprisingly bright October day in Dublin. I was kicking the leaves as I walked into town. I loved the way every kick sent a flurry of reds, yellow and oranges through the air. It looked as if the air was catching fire with one simple kick. I smiled softly to myself. "He would have loved this" I thought to myself. He always loved autumn. The way the leaves fell, the evenings came crashing in faster and the all rain the season brought with it. I always found it sad. It looked as if everything was dying. Dying right before my eyes and I couldn't stop it. I remember his smile when I told him this. His crooked toothy smile. Anyone else would have though he needed serious dental work done but to me it was the most beautiful sight. It meant he was happy and than in turn made me happy. "Don't think of it that way!" I remember him chuckling. "Then how should I think of it?" I asked with a questioning smile. "Think of it as the world preparing for a new bout of life. The trees are making room for their new leaves, the evenings are getting darker as not to embarrass the trees as they strip. Trees have feelings too ya know Charlie! They don't want to be seen naked either!" I remember laughing at this and playfully punching his arm. He grabbed my hand as I went in for another playful dig, twisted it around, put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his side. I remember that feeling as if it was yesterday. That feeling of totally security. Of being safe. That overwhelming feeling of home. I missed that.
I continued my walk into town alone. That word alone. It's funny. It seems to describe me perfectly. Alone. That's what I had been for a while now. It's not like people hadn't tried to talk to me. To bring me into their lives. I just didn't want that. To feel safe again and have it torn away from me all over again. I was okay as I was. No one else to worry about but me. I didn't have to entertain others. It was actually quite...I wouldn't say nice...just comforting I suppose to know that all I had was me. No one else. It was easy. At first it was just not replying to texts, then it was ignoring calls which in turn lead to them giving up on me. No one likes being forgotten. If you don't give them a certain amount of attention they'll leave on their own accord. Find someone else more willing to entertain them. People were selfish. It's how we were built to be. I didn't care if they left me. It was better if they found a new audience to feed their egos instead of waiting around for me to do so.
              I walked into the shop and picked up a bottle of milk and made my way to the counter. Mary was working today. Quite a relief really. She knew I wouldn't stop to make small talk or even say thank you. She didn't know my name, where I was from or any of my personal details, all she knew is that I didn't talk. She didn't try to make me speak, she just smiled as usual pulling a soft brown curl out of her face as she scanned the milk. She was a pretty, dainty little thing with chocolate brown eyes and a smile that would make a body builder blush. She seemed like such a nice girl but I would never know. I'd never speak in an effort to get to know her. It just meant forging another relationship that would fall to shit in a matter of time.
I handed over the money, gave a soft nod of appreciation and left the shop as quickly as I had entered. I checked my phone. "Shit!" I mentally cursed, Code Black was on at 9 and it was now 9:15! I had missed so freaking much already! I was so caught up in my thoughts of him I forgot all about it! I had now started running down the path I had walked along to get here, I dashed around the bend when my face connected with something hard. I fell back and landed with a loud thud onto my ass on the wet concrete. "Oh fuck! Sorry!" cursed someone standing above me. That's the moment I looked up and my eyes connected with another pair of brilliant bright green eyes filled with worry. And I realised that something I ran face first into was a someone.