Hard like my non-existing di-

Cocoa Butter

183 days before

"Does my ass look cute in these jeans?"

She glanced up from her history book, which she had placed in her lap to study for the coming exam on friday.

He was checking himself out in the mirror, turning, making poses and tugging on his clothes.

Her brown eyes widened at the view in front of her: the small boy had his bum sticking out in her direction, while he was looking at her over his shoulder, making his bambi eyes meet hers.

And yes, fuck. His ass looked cute.

She coughed a bit, her throat dry, trying to snap out of her gaze. "Of course, you look lovely, as always."

The curly haired beauty stomped his foot like a little kid, a whine escaping his angel-like lips, "I don't want to look lovely! I want to be sexy and cute, cute and sexy! Is that so hard to achieve?" With a small frustrated groan, he let himself fall next to her on the bed, burring his face in the pastel blue pillow. Obviously, he hasn't noticed how the brown girl, sitting in a criss-cross position at his right, practically undressed him in her mind, thoughts drifting off to naughty things that he was just too innocent to do.

"Why do you want to look sexy?" She was quite an awkward person. While the freckled girl was extremely talented in writing, the right words just didn't want to come out of her mouth. He always said, they liked her so much, that they didn't want to leave her. And afterwards, he'd giggle.

His body rolled over, him now on his back and the pillow on top of his face, to hide the blush wanting to creep up his neck and plastering itself on his face. "I.. I think I'm ready."

Her strong eyebrows -strong and sharp enough to cut a bitch- drew together in confusion as she looked at the pillow covered face of his, "You-" It hit her like a truck, as her features were slowly drawn back in realization, the boy nodding like crazy, too embarrassed to even reply.

It was quiet for a moment, brown skin rubbing over brown temples, and breath held in by an exasperating body.

As the silence continued, no one daring to say something, chocolate eyes peeked from under the protecting comfort of the sky shaded pillow, "Are you mad?" His timid voice brought her back, out of her hurting thoughts, away from the voices that were screaming in pain.
She shook her head, "No, no. Of course not. You- I mean, that's great! You are ready to strengthen the bond of your partner and you. You are ready to trust him fully, and.. you -you're ready. Wow, I never thought I'll even be alive when this happens." The girl managed to end her rambling with humor, though it took her her every strength, not to burst out in tears in front of him. The short boy hit her on the shoulder, exposing his white teeth while exclaiming a pouty 'hey!' and laughing. Grinning, she raised her hands in surrender.

The afternoon passed by smoothly. After they finished talking, he got up, continuing with the observation of his curvy body, even trying on some of the girl's clothes.
The pain was forgotten, and she would secretly send him gazes, adoring how he looked even smaller in her attire, biting her inner cheek or licking over her lips without knowing whenever he changed or made a pose that drew her crazy.

When the pale angel with pretty brown eyes had to leave, they said their goodbyes and he pecked her freckled cheek.
She could feel her face heat up (although it was just a friendly gesture, nothing more) and in that moment, she was quite glad that her skin was on the darker side. With her lips curved into a smile, the brown girl closed the door, smile fading when turning to the reflection in the mirror.
As if they were called, her demons came crawling up to her, swallowing her whole body, filling up her mind with negative thoughts; she felt pain, self hatred and other emotions that she couldn't describe. Tears fell, leaving wet tracks behind, while her eyes wandered to her touching thighs, pictures of the fit statue and skinny legs of the beautiful boy's partner flashing through her head. Sobs filled her family's empty apartment, as she stared at her flesh, hoping it would turn the color of cocoa butter, instead of only being the first word.

-
I never thought I could blush, because my skin isn't light. But as I talked with a male friend about masturbating for the first time, I felt my cheeks heat up. IT WAS SOOO WEIRD