Are you free from sin? -k. hyuk

5

-jae
hello. my name is choi eunjae. i am "special" you could say. by that i mean i am autistic. not classic. not atypical. i am one of the few rare girls who has AS. aspergers syndrome. people honestly don't realise that we even exist because let's be real here have you ever met a girl with aspergers? chances are that you haven't. if you have then good for you.
my name is choi eunjae and i am hyperlexic.
i am also traumatised.
this is because of how "intense" i am and because of my autism.
i have never been friends with a girl. they are rude. petty. slutty. and horrible. well that's how the ones i have met have been anyway.
call me close minded. i really am.
but that's ok. zico says it is. a lot of people hate me, that includes my parents. but that doesn't matter their opinion towards me won't affect me, or my my life, or my chance at success in life. people often ask how i can live with just one friend. just one. its not like it's hard. i think it's actually easier.
less friends=less drama
less drama= more peace
and considering zico creates no drama at all really, my life is great.
but.
there was one time when it all crashed down upon me. because i became friends with someone else. very good friends with someone else. "good" to the point where that someone else became my boyfriend. and he complimented me. hugged me. kissed me. and as i got closer to my "boyfriend", zico trusted him less and less. then one day, zico took me to a bar, just for the experience. guess who we saw there? yes, of course my dear boyfriend. kissing and touching on some random slutty-looking hoe.
and thus my first experience of a bar was a nightmare.
and so was my first experience of a boyfriend.
that's why i am scared of getting close to anyone. anyone except for my idiotic idol best friend.

and that's why i freaked out when dean called me pretty. it wasn't that he called me pretty. it was that i felt  something when he did it.

    *
Ew this was shit