And there he was, my best friend.
Skylar Salazar.
We've known each other ever since we where
kids.
We're Now in our Sophomore year of high school.
I'm moving from our small hometown.
It's 2 in the morning.
Less then 5 hours until I leave.
He knocked on my window,
said he needed to tell me something.
That was about 15 minutes ago.
He's been staring at the floor the whole time.
I'm probably more scared about what he has to
say then he is.
I walk over to him and sit down.
I put my hands on his shoulder,
"Talk to me Sky"
He takes a deep breath,
"Your moving and I don't know when I'll ever get the chance to say it so I'm just gonna say it.."
Here it come.
Whatever it is.
I'm sure its not bad..
Right?
"I'm in love with you, I've been In love with you and I know, I know, you don't see me like that. I know that I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. I know we're just best friends and that we're supposed to be friends forever and this might ruin it. I know we'll never be anything more then just friends.
I know your moving and I'm just putting this on you, and I know I'll never be him. I know all of that, but I fell in love with you anyway. I fell in love with you, Allison. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with My best friend,"
Wow.
"I-I don't know what to say or what you want me to say" I stutter , it's true I have no idea what to say.
"I don't want you to say anything ally, I just needed you to know" he's say, not making eye contact with me.
"I don't-I don't think I fe-"
He's shakes his head,
"Don't,"
"Don't say it, don't say anything.."
I grab his face and try to look at him through my watery eyes.
His eyes still don't meet mine.
"Skylar, look at me. Please,"
He takes a deep breath,
I can tell he's trying to hold his tears in.
His eyes finally meet mine.
Their glossy,
Which only makes me want to cry more.
I wrap my arms around him.
He pulls away quickly.
"Don't give me your pity."
"It's not pity sky, I-"
"I think I should go"
"Skylar.."
I grab his arm.
He turns around, and
He's kisses me on the cheek.
"Goodbye, Allison."
"You say it like your saying goodbye forever ,
I'll visit and we'll write each other. This doesn't change anything Sky, We're still-"
"Friends?" He interrupts
"Best friends, we're best friends Skylar."
He shakes his head,
"This changes everything Ally. You don't know how hard it's been, seeing you with him and
wishing, just wishing one day you would see me the way you see him. I can't be your friend.."
"No. no! Don't say that,"
"I can't Allison, it doesn't matter anyway your moving,"
"It's still fucking matter Skylar! Don't, please , don't do this to me."
"You have no idea what this is doing to me, what these feeling are doing to me! You think I wanted to fall in love With you? I didn't. I never wanted to."
I can barely talk now, and I'm full on crying.
I can see this hurts him.
He runs to me and pulls me into a hug.
"I'm sorry for falling in love with you, I'm so sorry."
I feel safe in his arms.
I squeeze my eyes shut,
trying to wake up from this horrible dream.
I can't imagine my life without him.
I can't imagine a world where our friendship doesn't exist and what a cruel world that would be.
I remember this one time , he went out of town for a week and we talked every single hour of that time, it was like he was never gone.
I've never been without him.
I guess he was right.
This would ruin us.
He kisses me at the top of my forehead and lifts my chin up to look at him.
This is the first time tonight, he actually looks me in the eye.
And in this moment I know this is real.
"I wish this didn't have to happen, I know your moving but my feelings aren't gonna go away when you go away. It's been killing me to be around you, knowing how I feel and knowing you'll never feel the same. I love you Allison, this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"Skylar , please don't do this. Please!" I cry.
He's kisses me on my forehead again.
Then walks to the window.
He's climbs down quickly.
I stand in shock for a moment then I run toward the window.
I call out his time as loud as I can with my shaky voice.
He's stop walking, I get filled with hope
that he'll turn around but he just stand there and then starts walking again.
Walking away from me.
From us.
Not even looking back.
I sink to the floor.
And cry.
I hate feelings.
Feeling ruin things.
They ruined our Friendship.
And right now there,
Ruining me.
