At one point in human history there exists one great person. One says that maybe even the most unlikely of candidates can climb to greatness. One of these unlikely fellows is a man named Richard.
"Don't be a chicken dude, it's not gonna hurt you..." Caleb addressed whilst holding a surgical knife to his face for a bout of giggles. "No you idiot that's not how that works at all!" Richard yelled. Caleb called Richard a dumb idiot and out of anger slit the know across his face playing the lens of his eye. Richard screamed and out of blind rage snapped Caleb's neck.
Choking on tears he flung the light body into the sewage basin but unfortunately the unexpected shift of weight brought Richard into the basin along with Caleb's lifeless body. When Richard woke up he completely forgot where he was and climbed up the messy hill in his dreadful stench on a hot muggy night. He cried the whole way up and eventually found himself atop the pit of waste.
He used a paper mâché to construct an eye patch and walked tried to walk back home. The woods began to fog as the night shifted from muggy to cool and Richard ponder why god hated him so much. His tears felt cool as they ran down his cheeks, his sweat was cleansing his rancid body, his guilt was piling on. He used the straps of his backpack to make a noose and tied it around his neck and wrote a note explaining what all has happened.
He fastened the noose on the branch of a tree and jumped. Fortunately the attempt failed and he was unable to get down. He stood idle for a while as he had given up. He slept upright hanging on the noose. He awoke to a sound, a growling sound. He was Caleb's head roll out of the tree, hidden behind it was a bobcat. Richard feared bobcats more that anything, so he panicked frantically to loosen the noose.
The bobcat began to claw at his feet to latch on to Richard who than began to kick its balls, this made the cat angry only worsening the situation. The more he screamed the more the bobcat clawed his chest until a gun shot sounded off and the cat tumbled to to ground. Richard was drenched in bobcat blood and brain-matter. A hunter in dark clothes says "You aight?" "Y-yeah" Richard said trying not to taste the bobcat blood.
"I heard some screamin coming down this way and me an my homies thought we'd help a nigga out." Richard made a fatal mistake by saying "Thanks Nigger." The black man was outraged and knocked Richard out and put him in the back of his car and drove away.
YOU ARE READING
Richard Vs. the Wild
HumorA tight little boy down on his luck begins his marvelous adventure to lose something he never wanted.
