addict with a pen /// phan

2

graphic chapter, especially near the end

~dan~

the demons are quieter tonight. maybe its cause i went to bed feeling happy for once. maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with phil.

or im just so used to the demons that it no longer fazes me.

i sleep some what peacefully for the first time in months, and i wake up feeling actually rested. i sneak downstairs, avoiding any squeaky steps. i creep into the lounge and see my mother watching t.v. sprawled out on the couch. my useless father must be at work already. not that im whining or anything. my mother smiles tiredly at me, motioning for me to hurry up and get to school so im not late again. i fake smile back at her and quietly return to my room, shoving my books haphazardly into my bag. i throw on a baggy sweater and some old, ripped jeans, along with a pair of black converse that i found in one of those clothes donation bins. i sling my back over my shoulder and slink down the stairs. i wave a quick goodbye to my mother, and quickly leave the house. my head already hurts just thinking about what the guys at school are going to do to me.

i walk silently to school, music pumping loudly through my headphones. i desperately try to drown out the impending doom of being beat up by those boys, especially after what happened yesterday. i feel my heart flutter a bit when i think of phil.

phil, otherwise known as angel boy.

i step into the warmth of the school, yet i still feel chilled to the bone. my hands shake uncontrollably, and i keep my head down the whole time i walk. my breathing comes heavy and uneven, and im almost gasping as i walk into homeroom. the chatter in the room dies down, and heads turn like missiles locked on me, their target. the chatter resumes, this time in quite whispers.

'did you hear? that kid punched ewan'

'no way! howell did that?'

'yeah! i heard that ewan was almost dead when they brought him to the nurses office.'

'wow. howell must be a real savage to do that.'

i listen to them talk about me. they arent using the f-word. one kid comes up and whispers a silent congratulations to me.

i am apparently the first person to even dare to touch 'ewan'.

hmm.

im dead.

if i punched the most feared guy at school, im as good as dead. not only do i have to deal with ewan, i have to deal with his stupid friends, whose names are apparently brendon, pete, and mikey. i bury my head in my long sweater paws when the bell rings. im in so much trouble. im gonna get killed. my mind desperately craves the thought of death, but my lips disagree. i want to kiss phil before i die. i need to kiss phil before i die.

too soon, the class is over, and im faced with my certain doom. i push my way quickly through the halls, head down, shaking hands hidden in my sweater, stumbling feet guiding me towards the safety of my next class. im almost there when i feel hands grab me around my neck, covering my mouth. i cant breath. im suffocating. just when i think i cant hold out any longer, the hands drop me, and i fall to the ground, gasping for breath. i feel cold air hit me. they must have brought me outside. before i can properly breathe, im kicked in the stomach. i roll over into the fetal position, letting out a whimper of pain. i feel a foot slam into the small of my back, and im paralyzed. i cant move. i cant move. i cant move. i feel myself panicking and oh god it hurts. the kicks keep coming and it hurts so bad. i finally regain movement but it hurts too bad and oh god. ewan picks me up by the collar of my sweater, choking me. im handed off to the tall guy with the big forehead, he must be brendon. brendon holds me up like im a punching bag, and thats exactly what i am to them. punch after punch to my stomach, my face, my arms, my legs, everywhere. i feel something trickling down my head and oh shit its blood. they finally drop me, ewan kicking me straight in the head, hissing that that was for punching him. my head pounds, the world swirls, tips upside down. i feel nauseous, and i make the mistake of shifting my head. my head twirls like a top, and my stomach drops to the bottom of my feet. i retch, tasting bile and an odd metallic taste. i can barely see cause of how much my head hurts, but the bright red patches that stain the perfectly white snow tell me everything. im in so much pain, i cant move, nothing works. i feel myself start slipping away and i think, this is it, its all over now.

then i hear a ringing from the phone tucked in my jeans pocket. i shakily reach my hand up, sending a terrible blast of red and white hot pain through my body. i vomit again, tasting more blood. this isnt good this isnt good this isnt good. i can only make out the first two letters on the contact.

ph.

phil.

its phil.

my fucking savior.

i shakily press my finger to the 'accept' button. his black champagne voice explodes from the phone.

"hey, dan! its phil, the guy from yesterday? hi!" he says cheerfully.

"p-phil," i say, almost choking on my own blood. "i n-need your h-help. please."

"dan?!" he says in shock. then his voices changes. "where are you? ill be there as soon as possible." he says seriously.

i let out a pained gasp of relief. "th-the school, b-behind th-the s-school." i mumble, my words slurring.

"okay, okay. im on my way." he says calmly, although its easy to detect the worry in his voice. "dan, i need you to stay with me, okay? you cant fall asleep, okay?"

"mhmm" i moan, my vision darkening around the edges.

"dan, im almost there, just please stay with me." he says, desperation controlling his voice.

i cant reply. i cant. blood tangles my throat, pain consumes me like a lion. i am a rabbit, prey to the lion of pain.

through the spirals of pure pain that snake through my body, i hear a car pull up, followed by a shocked gasp and a scream. i don't know who screamed. it might have been me, it might have been phil. he slowly looks me over, crystal tears blooming from his icy blue eyes. i cough, spraying rose bud drops of blood onto the perfectly clean snow. the cough hurts more than i expected, and my head throbs, sending the world into another violent twist. an incoherent scream shoots from my mouth, leaving me gasping for breath. its over, isnt it? im gonna die and thats it. i feel soft hands lift me up, hear scared voices. the world spins and spins, like a deranged teacup ride. warmth engulfs my broken body, but my vision is too fuzzy to make out my surroundings. everything starts fading quicker and quicker, the world goes pitch black, and im left in a terrifying darkness of screaming pain and whispering voices.

authors note: oh god this story is already so basic. it probably sounds like 600 other phanfics that are most likely more well-written than this one. oh well, though. yes, the lowercase and lack of proper punctuation is meant to be. i do know that there should be apostrophes. don't worry. it's all part of the plot. okay, that should be it. sorry for sounding so horribly basic. also, i apologize for any spelling errors. i'm writing this quickly cause i have a ton of homework whoops. now, that's it.

>~<