"why would you name me? Why do you think i'm deserving of a title everyone else has?"
"I dunno. You're common enough. You can't go by "the voice" all your life"
"that caught my attention . I raised my eye brows. I was sitting on my bed ; feet propped up. I focused and adjusted and adjusted my eyes on the door knob.
"oh" I didn't want to talk to him. I hate him. The only two people I know-my enemies. They're my world. It really is me against the world isn't it?
The voice silenced himself as did I
"Selseen" he spoke. Leaving me confused
"what?" I questioned
"call me Selseen if it makes things easier. Even I myself would like things to be easier."
"oh" once again, back to the silent aftermath I've aquatinted myself with.
"if you're real, why can't I see you" I asked - more of a statement than a question. I'm simply a confused boy waiting for the time to comes to when I'm needed.
"you're powerful, Perdu. You can read minds for our generations sake. You can figure this out on your own. I'm not your friend. I don't even want to be aquatinted with you."
"Why can't you just tell me?!?" I screeched so loud, my voice scratched my lungs shattering my confidence in having sanity.
I hardly ever have outbursts like this. I just hate my mind rattling so much. It's usually only at night though-thus preventing me from getting genuine sleep.
Soon after, Jamia's recognizable silhouette rushing over to my bedside. Confused. Concerned.
"Perd?" her face was inches from mine. She was probably unaware. In my luck, she was in an obviously close enough radius to reach into her mind.
Poor guy.
"it's Perdu. Go away. You're a disgrace."
But of course, she says differently than her thoughts. Her mind screamed every term of 'whatever'
"stop with the act, boy, stop your screaming. You know you're boundaries and rules."
Before I knew it, "no mind in radius" nothing of her presence lingered. the door clicked shut.
I'm alone
Her heels chattered away. I've never seen the outside of that door in years. I wonder if it's a hallway. I forgot how I got here. I don't get angry often. And she knows that too. I love traditions. I draw. Just to pass the time. I guess I have a 'talent' for the electric guitar. It took years for Jamia to finally hand me one. It was a nice one in my eyes. It was an electric red color-though, now, it's just a faded pastel red. There's several scratches and such coating it. Jamia isn't horrid I suppose. She did get me the guitar out of her own pocket. Or so I suspected. Sometimes we have chats out on the balcony. Depending on her mood, we generally have okay and worth having talks. Sometimes it's lectures. Over the years, Jamia's loosened up on the security here now that she's realized I have no apparent will to escape.
I guess I went to sleep at some point. I woke up around 2am. Insomnia sucks. I popped a pill in my mouth at the realization the world is sleeping right now, and I'm awake-fine and dandy. I truly am alone in this world. This pills are supposable to have high impacts. I hate to say that my insomnia is that bad so Jamia decided to stick the word 'severe' in front of it. "severe insomnia" I even hate the way it looks written. For a normal person, the contents in this little pill bottle could knock them out for hours without end.
Now's the time my brain decides to dump it's contents into my questions.
My hair is black. Is black every color all at once or is black no color at all?
Why is it that "her" blue eyes are a piercing blue – but, merely one thought later, they're grey.
I like thoughts. Because you can't pick what you think about. I mean, of course you can try, but to no avail. in the end, it's lingering in your thoughts anyway.
Are emotions a curse or a gift?
And of course, Memories.
I like them.
You can't pick what you remember and what you don't. for example: I didn't intend to remember Jamia's existence everyday (although, undeniable.) I didn't intend to remember something stupid like the color of her shoes the day she greeted me.
On the opposing hand, I did intend to remember my home life. My family. But I didn't and still don't. I like this one. Things I intended to remember but I didn't.
My family
My age
My birthday
How Jamia and I met
how Selseen became a part of my routine.
I woke up several times throughout the night. Trying to push away my thoughts in order to actually sleep.
-
"Pathetic boy. Get up. It's nearly noon"
Her meaningless words shatter the silence I love.
My eyes rested shut briefly. She huffed. She admires me.
"Perd. I said get up." She slapped the covers over my body. The fans. Not the fans. My blood is so hot, I couldn't survive without the rush of air hitting the sheets at night. Her filthy unwelcomed hands clicked the "off" button. I'm going to die.
"One down. Two to go. better'd get up, boy"
Her ratchet voice was like an annoying ringing in my ears.
"Why can't you just leave me alone you unwanted rat" I muttered flinging the heat-holding sheets away from my panting body. She does this to me on purpose. I sunk into her mind like razors getting caught in fabric. 'Unwanted rat' meant something to her. It altered her admiration for me. Very few kids actually live up to their full potential. She ended up falling through the cracks, I guess.
"Oh Perd, you c-"
"It's Perdu" I slid my toes through some sandals stashed near my bed.
"Balcony, please, dear perd"
-
My sandals were incredibly old. They clung to my skin practically by force. Falling away.
She crossed her legs on the chair as last time. Care deprived look on her face.
"Do you recall our discussion in the last segment, Perd?"
"That isn't my name"
"Anthony"
