Building my life

It's not that bad, or is it?

It was a dark day, bullets of rain falling like death upon its enemies, or as if the skies were crying desperately for brave Bryant to wake up. Being a week in coma, with severe wounds on his legs and his head, there was no real way of knowing whether the body in the hospital bed would wake up or simply vanish from existence.

And even though doctors thought he was in some very profound dream battling death, Bryant was very conscious of his surroundings now and then. He could hear how a worried male voice asked "How is he doing?" He could sometimes even feel when the doctor or nurse came into the room and stabbed his skin with the needle that carried the nutrients his body needed. He could feel and hear all that, but somehow everyone thought he was deeply unconscious, which in a way was true. Bryant could not talk, see or smell. He could only hear and feel, at least that's what he thought, he couldn't assure if he was in a dream or not, he could not know if he was already dead, "But if I am dead, and I'm not in heaven, am I on my way to hell?", he reasoned, but immediately discarded the idea of being on his way to hell. But were actually was he? And not in the physical sense, he knew he was in a hospital, but his mind and soul, where were they actually?

Bryant tried thinking about something else, being self-conscious in it's own consciousness is not quite nice, he knew. But then, nothing seemed to come to him, or better said, nothing seemed to come to his mind, all he could think was nothing, and that made him angry, he felt as if he was non-existent, as if he didn't have any memory of the world, as if he hadn't lived at all.

"It's true though, I haven't lived at all... I've just died over and over again..."

He then started remembering, he had not lived, he died, every last breath taken way from his men, every broken relationship he had passed through, every worry in his life, all this things were killing him, he wasn't living, he was surviving, just like right now. Was he trying to live? Or was he trying to survive? 

"I want to live, I want to enjoy life, I want to live the life my fallen men could not live, in memory of them. I want to struggle in a way that I feel that I am alive, I am no machine, I am not just a breathing cage of flesh, I don't want to survive, I want to live."

Right after his statement, Bryant felt as if not life, but death was being teared from his body. He came into complete consciousness, "He's opening his eyes!", said the now familiar male voice, after the blinding clarity of the room vanished, Bryant saw a beautiful woman standing by him, "Am I in heaven?" asked the man on the bed, "Or in hell?" he later added as he saw the young man by the beautiful lady.

The nurse, with her cheeks red, left the room to leave the two men alone. "Who are you?" asked Bryant now realizing he might have never seen this person before. "You saved my life a bit more than a week ago I think, remember the man you went to and gave two mags?" said the muscular, bearded man, "I visited you the first two days, but then I realized you didn't have any family or friends apparently."

He was right, Bryant was never very social and he barely saw his family. Trying to avoid talking about that, Bryant tried to sit on his bed and put his feet on the floor, he started with the left leg, which to his surprise, didn't reach the floor. "Apparently I am one foot smaller, or the bed is one foot taller," laughed Bryant with a smile. "Actually, you are a half leg smaller on that side mate," said the other man with sadness in his eyes. Immediately Bryant glanced at his leg to then realize that he had half a leg, ending at just below his knee.

"Oh my God, what is this.." said Bryant with despair. "No worries bro, the government payed for this baby," said the other man bringing a metal piece with a little curve at the end, which Bryant reasoned was his new leg. "Oh, I though I could stay with the nurse," muttered him. "I know, I would also lose a leg for a girl like that," joked the other man, "anyway, this thing is virtually indestructible."

"Great, so next time I step on a land mine it's my other leg that goes flying," Bryant joked around. But his friend didn't laugh back, instead, his faced turned to a serious, straight face. "There won't be a next time Bryant, commander says you are officially retired from the military service." What he had just told Bryant made his soul sink, as if it was trying to hide from the emotional disaster he had just caused to his friend. Bryant simply smiled, as if to brush it off and keep on with life, but he knew deep inside it was not like that, the military was his dream, his life, his everything. Now that he lost it all, he did not know what to do with his life.

"Tomorrow we'll start doing some exercises to help you get used to your new leg," said Bryant's friend, trying to break the silence, "for today we can show you your new home for the next few months".

"Alright then, give me my leg and show me how to put it on."

"Give you your leg?" said his friend, "today you'll have a great choo-choo train ride!" added him in a very childish manner while showing Bryant his wheelchair.

"You must be kidding me.. I'll stay in bed then.. Hey get your hands off of me! I won't get in that wheelchair," screamed Bryant as his friend was picking him up to put him on the wheelchair. "Or what? You'll kick my ass?" responded him while laughing.

Finally on the wheelchair, Bryant's friend carried him around to show him the hospital, which was more like a rich kid's mansion, it had lots of games, sport places, it had a huge buffet-style eating area, it even had a gigantic gym with everything a person could need to become Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"It's not that bad after all", though Bryant, "I'll probably even enjoy it."

But he was going to discover how wrong he was.

"So, you are the little insect that'll start training tomorrow with me," said a huge guy giving no difference between him and Terminator or Rambo, "I hope you are as strong as your metal leg, because I will break you, both physically and mentally."

"We'll see tomorrow, granny." 

Hey guys! So tell with what you think about this chapter, if it's nice to read or if it's nice material to dump on the toilet! Also a lot of thanks to Zamir95 for reminding me I had a book to write! Sorry I haven't updated, but learning two languages and 2 years of math in less than a year is not easy at all! But I'll try my best to update the book and try to finish it, with you guys!