Doctors appointment

Bad thing happen

It was about a week after the doctors instance and the wounds were leaving pretty deep scars but it's ok it adds to the ones I have on my wrists.todays the 14th of June and it's a pretty crappy day.i woke up at 6:30 like normal I get dressed into a light blue long sleeve,black tights and white vans.i look over at timetable that sits on the right hand side of my light grey desk.i quietly read my classes for the day to myself"ok Tuesday week b...science,art,PE,English ok cool" I said walking away from my desk where my timetable was.i start to search from my PE uniform.i find it in my closet that's is a mess I always think about cleaning it but that thought is always short lived.i packed my bag and walked downstairs to get some breakfast,my dads already down there with my mum coughing up his guts "dad what's up" I asked in confusion "oh I've go*cough* t a bad cold"he managed to choke out ,dad has had this cold for awhile but not as bad as now,"we are taking u to the doctor peter" my mum says patting him on the back from comfort "Janie it's ok I'll ..*cough*..I think your right like any other time" my dad says with a smile.i pour my self some coffee and wait to leave. Soon after I finished my coffee cole comes down the stairs with the worst bed hair I've ever seen "who u been fucking??" I say with a laugh "SHUT UP!!" He screams going red "kids stop it"chirks mum from over on the bench with dad,cole start asking the same question that I asked about dad and got the same answers. I fished my coffee and pieces of toast,grabbed an apple and left the house with my brother in my car.
i got to school and went to the library to read another one of the books I found lying around the house one day I forget what it was called something about drugs and alcohol abuse about and stuff.i sat there reading until the bell for role-call.the bell rang half an hour after I sat down in the library ,I started to make my way to role call when I walked pass my locker,someone had got white spray paint and sprayed ' the whore amber thorne' such a poet.
Ever since the first grade I have been bullied non stop for my weight,back when I was five I was on the large side and people used to bully me for it.as I got to 7th grade things got worse ,a guy I had a crush on asked me out I was so happy I said yes,two months when by and the girl comes over too me and slaps me across the face and calls me a whore for dating her boyfriend,in confusion I asked if she had the wrong girl and she said that I asked her boyfriend out and paid him to date me and not too tell her that we were dating,I told her that I would never do such a thing and she started to throw punches at me ,one punch hit my nose so bad one side of my nose it lopsided but u have to stand really closeto see it.ever since then everyone has called ' the whore amber thorn'.
I just open my locker to get my books for the first too periods and walked to my role call class
I entered the class early and sat down to read the rest of the book,I had miss heart as a teacher for role call she was the only teacher I like in this shitty school.she had jet black hair and bright blue eye that popped with the red rimmed glasses she wore ,I was never sure what subjects she teaches but I wish I was in one of her classes, my classes considered of:***********.all the teachers had some sort of vendeta out for me,all questions were pin pointed at me and when i get them wrong everone in the class would laugh that also cauesd my bad soical anixty.
The bell rang for 2nd period which was science with****.he was an ok teacher but he hated me most of all.as I started to pull my science book from the pile in my hand and saw that poets work again on my book in big black permanent black marker,I just have giving up on everyone bullying me I got used to it.i thought that they were doing this for a reason so I started to cut as punishment for myself.
I got to my class at a normal time ,while putting my book and stuff at one of the science benches my music when low with a bell at the followed by my music volume rising again.i pull out my phone to see a message from my mum reading 'it's not looking good...' i got confused on what she meant so i opened up my phone to see the rest of the message.the word i saw first mad me realise what she meant ' it's not looking good for dad,we took him to the doctor and he said dad had stage 4 cancer on his lungs and heart,the doctor said there was no cure since it was so big and attached to his heart and lungs.they said he's not gonna make it this month'.
i broke down ,the bulling ,the memories now this .i ran from that class as fast as i could trying not to let the tears pour out of my eyes .my whole body ached as i ran to my car,i drove out of the school going somewhere i haven't been in awhile a place i felt safe the place for where i meant someone who became my life line ,someone who cared.
i arrived at my abandoned burnt down primary school just 10 minutes away from my high school,i got out of my car and walked up to the door which had caved in on itself,i walked through the halls bring bad memories i don't want to remember.i stop at one class '7b' i read on the door as i scanned over all the scratches on it .i walk in and see burnt art ,posters and an a collection of pictures of kids in the class ,a large amount of them where burnt in the fire but some u can still see happy faced children.i scan over the picture saying names under my breath "amy....joey....bree...brendan.....luke...'i stop at one picture,me hand in hand with the person i cared for the most ,i had short brown hair and a blue and purple shirt and a scar on my face i still have but i cover it in makeup so it's faint to see .i walk out of the class room ,walking on pieces of wall roof and so on as i walk passed more doors .i walk past on room with the door falling in and a window showing the playground i played in and a large oak tree off to the right,with curiosity i walk in and notice the windows open so i climb out taking in the view as i walk,i stop once i reach the tree .i don't know about u but when people like me were younger they would dig holes in the trees or i grave their name on them and they would stay there for god know how long.i run my fingers over the names and curse words( cause that was cool i don't know), i stop at one heart larger than the rest ,in a heart it read the initials 'at.ap' a tear slips out of my eyes one after another until i broke down again.nothing has been the same since that day my mum told me

my life was falling apart and there was nothing i could do to stop it