I walked out of school,
My boyfriend and my friends waiting.
I had a secret,
My thoughts in a pool.
I sent pictures,
But not to him.
Never dirty, always clothed.
My insides twisted,
I knew what was coming.
"Why would you do that?"
I'm screwed up badly.
My words had truth, so much truth.
I hurt myself, never told my counselor.
She'd never care, always belittled me.
She acted uncouth,
No sense of reality.
As the school year ended, I was happy.
Happy that I forgave myself.
I never would put myself in a situation like that again.
I got my friends back, two then ten.
I dated the one that hated me most,
I loved her so dearly,
I can't tell her now, we broke up.
For a reason I can't tell.
Not cheating, not to hurt her, to be able to be friends before I really like her.
I still want to hug her, pet her, sleep besides her.
Her taunting words
her breathing that slowed
i wanted to show her I really cared.
not just for show.
The summer was exulting, I hung out with my friend that helped me through,
Her neighbor was super cute too.
He stared, I stared.
I smiled and laughed, his face twisted with interest, my eyes reflected back.
He'd always get close, touching skin, standing from behind.
I didn't mind but that's in the past.
Before that my grandfather went psycho, scared me to death,
my grandmother made lies out of my truth, yes believe him over your now mess.
I laughed, I now understand.
It's not me who's fucked up.
It's my awful surroundings, hell yes.
