Surviving Slater - Loving Bad Series (Sample of Published Book)

Chapter 2 - Part 2

The need to see Taylor pushed me to hurry Matthew. When we arrived at the hospital again I wasn't surprised to see Sin waiting outside Taylor's hospital door, still dressed in the clothes from the day before. He had probably stayed here all night. I assumed Connor was inside the room with her.

"Is she awake yet?" I asked Sin as I reached him. He straightened up and raked a hand through his hair.

"Yes."

I bit my lip as I contemplated what she would be feeling. I rubbed my temple as I dealt with my overwhelming feelings, trying to concentrate on the relief and happiness that she was still alive. No matter what had happened between Taylor and Eric, it could be dealt with.

But you know how hard it is to deal with the wounds that can't be seen, my mind reminded me, but I tried to shut the voice out.

"What did she say?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"I don't know."

The sadness I could see in him was hard to watch. This was tearing him apart. There was more. My eyes narrowed.

He shrugged like he had the weight of the world on his broad shoulders. "I shouldn't have left."

Then I understood. Guilt. I reached out and put my hand on his arm. My slightly tanned skin clashed with his inked swirl of color on his tattoo sleeve. It reminded me of Slater. Hell, everything seemed to remind me of him.

"It wasn't your fault."

He nodded at my words, although I could see he didn't believe me.

We waited for a while to see Taylor. Matthew and I went in first. I had to school my expression when my eyes took in the damage Eric had inflicted. Emotion clogged my throat. Her skin was paler than usual emphasizing her bruises. Her shoulder-length platinum hair was limp and her vibrant blue eyes had lost their sparkle.

Somehow I managed to keep myself from falling apart. It was only after the visit, when I left the room and caught sight of Slater waiting outside the door with Connor and Sin, that I felt my emotions overwhelm me.

I made a hurried excuse to Matthew before I dashed down the hallway as my tears broke loose.

Once inside the restroom, I allowed myself to cry in the hidden stall where no one could see. I hated feeling this way, weak and emotional. Disgusted with myself, I brushed my tears away.

I was strong and I wouldn't allow myself to fall apart. But it hadn't just been that. The sight of Slater had brought back the night he had gotten a glimpse of the past that still had a way of creeping into my present, making me more sensitive than usual.

I gave myself a pep talk as I dried my cheeks with a tissue. Thank goodness I hadn't worn mascara, otherwise I would have looked like a panda.

After my little emotional moment I began to feel better, like the release of emotions had lifted some of the weight off me. I patted my face down with some water before drying it. Another look in the mirror told me my hazel eyes were still a little red but not enough to give away the fact I'd been crying. I soothed my short brown hair.

As I exited, the sight of Slater standing outside caught me by surprise. I stopped, and he walked over to me.

I swallowed that emotion that bubbled back up the surface. I wouldn't break down again.

"You okay?" he asked softly, his eyes searching mine. I nodded stiffly.

He reached out and brushed my cheek softly. I felt the soft touch of his fingers against my skin and it felt so good. I leaned into it. Then he pulled back suddenly, taking me by surprise.

It was a familiar push and pull. I straightened up, refusing to show how his reaction to me affected me. He shoved his hands into his jeans, dropping his eyes for a few moments.

Feeling slightly embarrassed and awkward, I shifted where I stood, not sure what to say or what to do. He could tie me up in knots. Not many people had that effect on me. It was unsettling.

"You and Matt seem close," he said. I frowned slightly as I took in his words.

"Yes. He's a good friend."

He studied me for a moment before looking back down the hallway to where Connor and Matthew were standing.

"Is that what he is?" he asked when he looked back at me.

This time when my frown deepened I felt more than slightly annoyed. I could explain to him that no matter what it might look like, Matthew was only a good friend and nothing more. But after what happened between us, I didn't feel I owed him any explanation.

We weren't together. He had made the choice.

"Why do you care?" I asked, needing to get some sort of reaction out of him.

He pressed his lips together as his eyes held mine.

"I care," he said.

"No, you don't," I scoffed. "You're just being a guy."

"How's that?" He arched his pierced eyebrow.

"You're like a dog with a bone. You don't want it but you don't want anyone else to have it either."

"It's not that," he assured me with a shake of his head.

"Then tell me," I asked, needing to understand why we were even having this conversation.

He was the first guy I had grown close to. Before him, guys had been expendable. His rejection had dented my ego and it was hard to interact with him without experiencing that feeling renewed. And now he was standing here worried about the part Matthew was playing in my life.

Matthew was hot. He was tall and lean. But it wasn't just that—he was also a good guy. I think it was the influence of two younger sisters that had taught him how to deal with women and their emotions because he knew when to listen and when to speak.

"I know you're trying to be brave for everyone but I can see how much this is affecting you." He looked at me like he was seeing deeper than anyone else. "I just don't want someone to take advantage of your vulnerability."

I pressed my lips together when I thought back to when he'd pushed me away. He hadn't been concerned then with hurting me.

"Really?"

He nodded.

The urge to lose my temper and yell at him for hurting me before took all my self-control. I wasn't going to allow him to see how badly it had hurt. Granted, we hadn't been dating, it had been casual between us, but the connection had meant something to me.

I shook my head and dropped my gaze, unable to look at him. Every time I looked at him, my heart sped up and I felt more alive. I hated feeling that way about him. The moment he entered a room, somehow I could sense him. He had a way of blocking out everything else when he was around. It was an addictive feeling.

Trying to be the better person, I looked up at him, burying any feelings about him deep down.

"I appreciate your concern," I said, sounding more business-like, which helped keep my emotions under control, "but I'm not yours to worry about." I paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to get my message across without showing him my true feelings. "Matthew is being a very good friend at the moment and that's what I need."

I didn't tell him I only saw Matthew as an older brother-figure. For some reason I refused to tell him that. Maybe a childish part of me hoped he was feeling jealous as well.

Not that it would make any difference.

We'd had our chance and it was gone. Now we had to find a way to be around each other without causing tension or awkwardness. There was a very good chance Sin and Taylor would sort out their issues. And that meant that no matter how we felt about each other we were going to be seeing each other whether we liked it or not.

I didn't say anything else before I left him standing and watching me as I headed to Matthew, who had been watching the exchange.

"Everything okay?" he asked when I walked up to him.

"Yes, everything is fine."