Sometimes I wish I can die again in a more painful way. The way I died happened so fast that I didn't even get time to get my thoughts together, to collect my thoughts. Everything happened in an instant. All of the pain, the trauma, the bleeding only happened in a matter of seconds.
They say ghosts cannot be suicidal because we are already dead. But, after I died I became even more suicidal. My actions, my thoughts are all so horrible. I am tired of being dead, I am tired of ceasing to exist and most importantly, I am tired of emotions. At the same time, I don't want to live knowing that I can die anytime, any moment, any second and that's truly terrifying. Life and death together are just this giant never ending loop playing over and over again. There is no heaven, there is no paradise. It's just another life but not living at all. And that's even worse than Hell. I'd rather have my flesh slowly burned in the pits of Hell than "live" this kind of life.
------
I ponder on the fact that I just left the only girl I actually had feelings for. I cannot stop thinking about her dark hair and her mysterious smile. She's like no one else, she's different. And I'll never have her... I stare at the night sky mesmerized by the beautiful stars, I can easily get a close-up view but, I prefer doing it the "human way" as mundane as it is, It makes me feel more alive.
YOU ARE READING
The Whisperers
Mystery / ThrillerAnna Tellohimer is a pretty ordinary teenager. A School journalist, black belt in karate, born in The Bronx yada yada. But, with all of the ordinary in her, she still is different from everyone else. Very different. She has a gift, telekinesis. Sinc...
