My Life in Hell

Hell's CEO

It is no surprise that I didn't sleep much that night. What I had learned earlier had my head spinning and, on top of that, my new bedroom, on the third floor of our new house, was the ugliest bedroom I had ever seen in my life.

Not only was it decorated with gargoyles, but when I walked to my room last night, I'm pretty sure I heard whispers in the stairs. Now, as I am lying on my back with my blankets up to my chin, I am hoping that I won't have to go to the bathroom during the night because not only don't I know where it is, but even if I was, I am too scared to go.

The other thing that was keeping me awake, were the things I learned in that distasteful office. While I was sitting in a chair that smelled like pineapple, my attention was divided between the file about my new school and my mother's discussion with Mr. Belzie.

As I was reading about the common enemies of the demoniac world, the angels, and how it was important to stay away from them, or better, to exterminate them, Mr. Belzie started to get louder, obviously losing his cool.

"No, Mrs. Mustard, it is out of the question, you cannot remodel this office!"

Mom was slowly losing her courage in front of him and I didn't like it. All her life, it has been like that. People not taking her seriously because of how she looked. I am the first to admit it, my hippie looking mom didn't compare well to a career mom. But it didn't mean she wasn't as good as any other mom.

I had learned early enough that when people were different, it didn't mean that they were bad. And my mom was not bad, she is good. Good, until you force her in a corner. Doing that was the equivalent of firing her up and when it was happening, you had to take cover, or suffer the consequences. Like my grandparents neighbors, who kept having late parties. They quickly learned that it was better to have fewer parties than have an esoteric assembly, loud and with a lot of chants that lasted all night long in your neighbors backyard. As mom would say, there is always a peaceful way to solve a problem. But right now, I didn't see her fighting side. Mr. Belzie was like a bull and I don't think that the reason of his bad mood.

"It is wrong, it's all wrong, can't you see it? You can't be the one replacing my master! You, a mere, puny human with no powers! Oh, such a disgrace! You are not even evil!"

"But I can try to be evil if you want me to. Would you want me to try, Mr. Belzie?", mom asked with an innocent voice. Mr. Belzie answered by looking at her, with a very doubtful expression when mom added, "I can be evil! I sometimes kill spiders!"

Mr. Belzie looks as if he was in pain when he heard Mom say that. Mom must have see that too because she abruptly changed the subject and ask him to explain to her the term of her late husband's will.

"As it had been said before, you are the sole beneficiary of Mr.Mustard's estate. Starting tomorrow, you will be in charge of your late husband many businesses and properties. Also, you are now the official CEO of Hell. You will be given a week to prepare yourself for your new responsibilities before you can take the duties inherent to your position. The last thing we want, it's for you to be too good."

I couldn't help myself and I ask :

"But what if she doesn't want to be all of what just said?"

"Yes, what if I don't want IT?", echoed mom.

Mr. Belzie smiled when he heard the question. An actual, very creepy and sinister looking smile.

"You would then have to die, Mrs. Mustard."

It comes as no surprises that Mr. Belzie comment has rendered us speechless. I looked at mom, she looked at me and without saying anything, and we both agree that now was a good time to go to sleep. I don't know how mom's room was, but I hope it wasn't as bad.