Transitioning

Then

"Daddy, I'm scared." I said as I stood defiantly clad in knee and shoulder pads in front my brand new red tricycle.

"Come on Henry! I know you can do it if you just try." My dad motioned toward the seat, patiently waiting

Against my the will of my legs, I wobbled over and plopped down in the seat with my dad holding the back steady. Grasping the handlebars with sweaty palms, I aligned my feet on the pedals and started to ride slowly. It wasn't long before I fell on the rocky sidewalk and the waterworks turned on at full blast. My dad ran over and stood me up straight and peered into my eyes.

"Wipe those tears, and get back on that bike while you still remember how to ride." he said while adjusting my pads and putting me down on the bike,

"It's too hard, daddy! And I hurt!" The tears began to stain my 'I'm A Big Boy!' shirt.

"Henry, in life, there are going to be times when you want to give up. When those times come, you have to find hope and continue on." He ruffled my hair a bit and stood up.

"Now, go on"

With the tears dried, and my father's support, I got myself situated and rode down the picturesque downtown neighborhood passing 3 houses all by myself. Jumping off the bike gleefully, I ran back to my dad, skipping around him, full of happiness. My dad also had an enormous grin plastered on his face as he pulled me into a great bear hug.

"Now, aren't you glad you gave it another try and didn't just give up?"

"Yes, daddy! I did that all by myself because I never, ever, gave up." I continued to jump around until he sat me down.

"Now, remember this Henry. No matter what you choose to do in life, just remember that you will always have me to support you. I will never,EVER, give up on you."

I nodded and he smiled, and we walked back to my bike, and rode to 7-11 for some slurpees.

When we made it back home, I went upstairs to my room that had racecars plastered on the walls. Locking my door, I went to the very back corner in my room and pulled out 2 Barbie dolls my cousins had left in my room once when they came over. Combing their long, blond hair was the only escape I had at that time. Sometimes, I would hold my chest and try to squish the fat together to make boobs, but I knew even at the prime age of 6, it wasn't going to be enough.

As the night drew on, I got ready for bed and laid down waiting for my parents to tuck me in. After the kisses, hugs, and ruffling of the hair, the room was cold and dark. I looked up at the ceiling as if it contained all the questions that laid deep inside my heart. Getting more confused by the minute, (because come on, I'm only 6 at the moment) I turned over to my side and let the sleep wash over my body.

While I slipped in and out of consciousness, I remember how my father said he would always be here for me.

"I will never,EVER, give up on you"

"Never, EVER, give up on you."

"Give up on you"

"Give Up."