Dating you was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. You made me laugh, smile and you made me be proud of myself. Without you, I do not think I would still be here. But times have changed and now we have fallen apart. What we used to have drifts further and further apart with each passing day. You said we would keep in touch and that things will be the way they used to be. But time has changed that. Now one of the people I cared the most about in the world was now a stranger to me.
When you said we couldn't be together.. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to have a reason to hate you. But seeing you on that day, your eyes welling up with tears. It simply just broke my heart. You meant no harm to me. You were an honest girl who thought about the right thing to do. Even if that meant not being with me. I didn't cry that day. I brought up a smile and wiped away your tears. I realised at that moment that the pain I was feeling was not even as close as yours. I had to be strong. I had to be strong for you. I tried comforting you, saying this was the right decision for you to make and that I supported you no matter what happened. But then you replied "If its the right decision, why does it hurt so much?" I was speechless. I couldn't say anything so I held you tighter. Your words never left me. It made me realise that nothing in life is ever constant. As time passes by, everything changes.
As days and weeks passed since we separated, I felt horrible. I really really wanted a reason to hate you. I kept thinking of reasons why this was all your fault and you are the reason for my pain. I couldn't think of anything. I couldn't hate you for making the right choice. I could never feel anger towards you, just sadness. There were times where a thought of you would put me in tears. Drinking alcohol didn't make the problem any better. It just made me miss you more. A part of me was missing. I felt so empty inside. Family and friends did help fill part of me but I was always missing a piece. I was missing you. No feeling can compare of having your company. You were someone who appreciated me and was always there for me. And for that I am always grateful.
Almost a year has passed now and we've only recently started talking to each other again. It felt normal to be talking to you again. I thought that everything would return back to when we first met. But.. Seeing you in person for the first time in months, it really showed me how much has changed. Appearance wise, you look exactly the same as the day we fell apart. Your beaming smile, your framed glasses, your lovely eyes. It all felt so familiar. But I also felt something different towards you. I felt this tension whenever I looked at you. I'd always say to myself: This is the girl you once loved. What happened to you two? I knew then that things would never be the same. The girl I once loved was no longer the one in front of me. As time passed by she changed as did I. Although we were the same people we were completely different. That's the thing about relationships. Once you start one, things will never be the same again. Either you end up getting married or you become separated from one another. Because after all, nothing ever really stays the same.
I still love you as much as the day I first met you. But we weren't meant to be and sadly we had to fall apart. But being with you made the 2 years of my life so much better. I do not regret being with you. My only regret, is not cherishing the moments we had together.
