Carnival Lights

2

Present Day

I sniffed and dried up my tears. The quiet hospital room silence had been disturbed by yours truly.

"How long does she have?" I asked the doctor between sobs.

"Six months to a year at most," he replies softly. "I'm so sorry Jenna."

He walked away from me, leaving me to process what he just told me. I dried up my tears and opened the bedroom door. I looked in the room, and there laying in the bed looking frail and delicate, was Ellie. My six year old daughter.

What I saw broke my heart. Ellie had gotten leukemia and the doctor said chances of living were not good.

"Mommy," I hear her say quietly. I sit on the bed, and play with her long curls.

"I'm here baby. Cassandra is with the sitter." I kiss her forehead. "I'm so sorry baby girl." and then I broke down crying again. But this time, my little girl was there to comfort me.

A soft knock was on the door. I flinched, and looked to see who was there. The man I despise the most to say the very least. Evan.

He looked at me with sad eyes. "Jenna. Please. Let me have a moment with her," he pleaded.

"You should have thought about that before abusing us." I retorted. "I put a restraint order out for a reason. Just walk away..."

He turned and walked away. Evan and I had gotten married and tried our best. He found drugs and alcohol and started to beat me. I couldn't deal with it, and he went after the girls. I filed for divorce, left him, and now I'm a twenty one year old who can barely pay her bills. Actually if I came up short this month, I would lose the apartment. Evan didn't pay child support because I didn't want anything from him.

Ellie disturbed my mind babble with a fit of coughing and vomiting. I have her a can and rubbed her back.

"When can I leave mommy?" Ellie asked me after she was done.

"You have to stay a couple nights baby. But I'll come everyday. I promise. They'll let mommy know when you can come home. I promise," I say not so confidently. The truth is, if my little girl wanted to live, she has to stay here for the rest of her life expectancy. But I told them no way.

"Okay mommy. I'm going to sleep now." She rolled over and closed her eyes.

"Night Ellie," I said. I kissed the top of her head, tucked her in, and left her to sleep.

The drive home was longer than usual. It's about ten minutes but it felt like hours. I had tons to think about. Would Ellie live to see her eighth birthday? Would she ever get married? Graduate high school? Hell would she ever make a difference to someone?

She already has, my mind said. To me. To her sister. To herself.

I pulled in the driveway and went inside. The sitter was laying on my couch lazily flipping through channels.

"Danny is Cassie asleep?" I asked her.

"Yep. Go to work Ms. Monroe. I got it all here," she said softly. "Wait. How's Elle?" she asked softly.

"Eleanor is doing fine, Danny. I'll be home about one. You're welcome to stay the night and make yourself at home." I said. She nodded, her green eyes glazed over with tears. "Hey. Ellie will be fine. I'm sure of it," I say, kissing her brown hair. "I'll be back later hon."

I grabbed my bag and went into Cass and Ellie's room. Cassandra was fast asleep. I went in and kissed her soft black hair. She rolled over, opening her soft blue eyes. "Mommy. Is Ellie coming home tonight?" she asked tiredly.