Poems

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Everyday, when I wake up, I decide who I am going to be today.
I ponder this, while I lay,
Deciding who I am going to be today.

But I ask is this decision really a relief?
Or is it just the deflection of true beliefs?
As I lay, is it really truthful to decide who I'll be this day?

Am I really who I say I am?
Or is my true self hidden behind a self-made dam?
These questions... Should I bother asking them?

I continue on, for I must uncover,
My true self before I become another.
For my true self, I do not know, will she begin to wither?

Am I the girl in dark clothes?
The girl who nobody really knows?
Or am I the girl who's always got her nose in a book?
The one who can't give a straight-eye look?

Am I the girl who's always cracking a joke?
The girl who's boredom causes a mom-nose poke?
Or am I the girl who'll hide behind others to cover her imperfections?
The one that can't handle a conversation about herself without a wince?

Am I the girl who lets her voice sing out loud?
The girl who makes herself proud?
Or am I the girl who does the opposite?
The one that involuntarily silences it?

Am I the girl who only gives wobbly-knee presentations?
The girl that's too scared to proudly show her creations.
Or am I the girl that loves to play?
The one that's not afraid to say whatever she wishes to say.

I know in my heart I'm not sure who I am.
Or maybe I do, and I'm simply unsure of this ma'am.
I've found that indecision is a path I have paved.
I'm trying to find my way out of this cage.

The confines of myself are still unclear.
When I truly find myself I feel I will cheer.
Or maybe I already know who it is that I am.
Maybe she's still locked up in her unbreakable can.

I know that I love art and music and such.
But I'm not sure how much limit is too much.
I don't know who I am, or who I'm going to be.
I'll have to figure out what the future has in store for me.

So as I lay in my bed, pondering who I will be,
I turn a few corners in my mind that I can see.
I lie there and search all throughout my head,
Thinking who I will be today, each morning, in bed.

And at the end of each day, I lie there in bed,
Thinking about what path tomorrow will set.
As I lie there in bed, morning and night,
I decide who I'll be, how I will take flight.

I'm finding my path through this maze we've all assumed.
I'm searching for a way out of this never-ending loom.
And not by death for which I will part.
The road I wish to take is following my heart.

I wish to always be true to myself—whoever I may be.
I wish to follow my heart—wherever it may lead.
I want to find who I truly am.
I no longer want to be stuck behind a dam.

I have yet to find out who my true self is,
Though I know she'll involve the path that lives.
I'd like to come out of my shell and into the light.
I know this won't be easy, but I won't give up the fight.

I'm lying here, wondering who I will be,
And if who I think I am is really me.
As day after day after days pass,
I wonder how long this "self" of mine will last.

Week after week, "Adios," and "See ya."
Month after month, "Adieu" and "Paalam."
Year after year, how time flies,
While I'm still wondering,
Who am I?