Witch Bitch- The Classic Play

Witch Bitch

Snow Mexican ~ Heather (Me)

Self- Hatred~ Emily

Bleach~ Brooke

Tarlton~ Our Teacher (Mr. Tarlton)

Every other character~ Bennet

Scene I

A normal day was occurring in the kingdom of Rick Harrison's Pawn Shop. The Meme Queens- Snow Mexican, Self- Hatred, and Bleach, sat upon their thrones of "yea bois" and Mr. Krab's "I'm shook" memes. A pigeon flew in through the window with some tea to spill. 

Pigeon: BITCH YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT I JUST PEEPED!

Snow Mexican: *Pulls out teacup* Pour me some god damn Lipton

Pigeon: Haters gonna say it's fake, but, I saw Tarlton skipping church. He says he has "Dab-itus," but I sat on his window and saw him mixing fluids. I mean, he's got Orange Juice, Honey, Chamomile, you name it!

Self-Hatred: Are you sure it was Tarlton and not Ted Cruz, A.K.A. the Zodiac Killer?

Pigeon: Nah, it was that bald headed ass, musty ass, crusty ass, busty ass, dusty ass, rusty ass roach Tarlton.

Bleach: Well shit. Someone rally up the Velociraptor.

Scene II

The Meme Queens are riding their Velociraptor with AK-47's and ammo straps across their chests. Their hair flowing through the wind majestically while a flying spaghetti monster heads to its home base in the sky.

Snow Mexican: Yo, pass me the Aux cord.

Self- Hatred: You better not play trash.

"IM NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! IM NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!"
Snow Mexican: *Whips*

Scene III

The Meme Queens arrive at Tarlton's house and park their Velociraptor in his yard.

Bleach: *Shoots down door with Ak-47*

Tarlton: *Does SpongeGar Face*

Bleach: IS YOU CURSING BITCHES, YES OR NO?

*Michael Jordan comes our of his house crying, with bloody pentagrams carved into his skin.*

Tarlton: ...Nah.

Snow Mexican: I feel like you're lying but okay...

Self- Hatred: We got one question for you.

Bleach: You are in the shower drinking a pork chop and your girl just left to go buy some quarters and you see her cousin in the kitchen about to boil some tacos. She 19, finna be 22 in 3 days ago, what's the temperature tomorrow?

Tarlton: Yea boi?

Meme Queens: You're wrong, on the Velociraptor you go.

Scene IX

*In the courtroom ready to accuse Tarlton of Witchcraft*

*Tarlton sits in the guilty chair, waiting to be judged.*

Bleach: State your name and reason for being here.

Tarlton: My name is Jeff.

Self- Hatred: HIS NAME IS GUILTY BITCH

Bleach: Here it says your name is Jason Tarlton and you were accused of Witchcraft by my favorite Pigeon, Pingo.

*A light shines through the room and Harambe emerges wearing a smooth silk suit.*

Harambe: I call Pingo the Pigeon to the stand.

Pingo: *Hopping onto the stand* This whack ass bitch is fucking around with the devil and shit and I ain't bout that life.

Harambe: Well said...

Bleach: Since Tarlton doesn't have any defense, Pingo, return to your seat.

*Pingo flies onto Bleach's shoulder and takes a sick bong rip*

Harambe: I call Michael Jordan to the stand.

*Michael Jordan goes to the stand and pulls up his sleeves to reveal a pentagram carved into his arm and multiple cauldron burns.

The Jury: *gasps*

Harambe: #Triggered! Back to the stands bitch.

Tarlton goes back to the stands and Harambe rips off his shirt sleeves and to show a pentagram mark and burn marks, just as a black cat scurries its way across the floor in front of him.

The Jury: Guilty!

Bleach: * Bangs the Gavel*

Snow Mexican: *Walks into room* Suprise motherfucker.

Harmabe: *Throws Tarlton to Snow Mexican*

Bleach: Jason "Witch Bitch" Tarlton, I sentence you to death by fangirling. Also, you are to dance to the Backstreet Boys for the rest of your lame ass life.

The End :)

Okay, so basically my friends (Emily, Brooke, Bennet) and I (along with the rest of the class) had to write a play the relates to the Salem Witch Trials, which is what we're going over in our English Class. We had to accuse someone and come up with an interesting twist to it. So my group did memes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯