As I Am (updating * )

Sunday Candy

"Dad! Where's mom? She used my car yesterday and now I can't find my keys!"

"She left for work already. Take mine."

Right. Work.

"No offense, but no." The last time I took your car anywhere, it gave out on me. Plus, you have work today, right?"

"Get in the car. I'll drop you off. Tomorrow you take your car or you walk."

Great alone time with my dad. Ever since Brit told me about what's been going on between him and my mom, I can't stand looking at either of them. He spent all that time lecturing me about the ways a man should treat me, finding someone who's good to me, and not taking any shit from anybody, just for him to be living a lie. To think I once looked up to my parents' relationship. Then boom, everything you know comes crashing down, whilst other things finally start making sense.

My mother's distance, her need to always be away from us. I wish I knew why and I wonder how my dad feels about this, his wife, the love of his life, finding comfort in another man.

Disgusting.

***

"You can drop me off right here... thanks for the ride. I'll get one of my friends to take me home," I say, rushing out of the car to avoid any conversation.

As I walk from the parking lot into the dining hall, I feel an arm snake across my neck. I jump to see who it is, and as usual, it's Jennifer with her new found homeboys Vince and Tyrell.

"So, tell us what's up with you and Ty?" I notice a tone of excitement in Jennifer's voice.

Tyrell Leonard Washington. Exceptional football player and academic overachiever. If he wasn't making it to the NFL, he made sure he was getting a good sworn to fall back on Microbiology.

"Girl, Ty called me when I got home from that party and went off. Like he's my man or something. I can't be with him anymore. Our trial friendship thing is dead."

Four dates. We went on four dates, and in his mind, that makes me his responsibility.

Jen wants me to try going on another date with him so badly, she practically pushes us together every chance she creates. She believes I'm insane for turning down a 6'2 200 pound sweet chocolate caramel money maker. But while she sings his praises, he thinks Jen is an attention-seeking hoe and a bad influence.

"You need to give him a fair chance. If you go into the date with a negative mindset, then that's all you'll focus on."

"Okay, I miss positive vibes only."

As they wait in the line for croissants, I glance around, searching for a place for us to sit away from the crowd. Wayne, Bryan, and a few other guys I assume are their friends walk past me. Instead of doing the normal thing and turning around, my eyes follow fixated on him. Following him as he passes me by. Our eyes lock. Being polite, I send him a small smile. Since meeting him at the party, we have shared a few glances, a couple head nods, but nothing concrete, and honestly, it should stay that way.

Another reason dates never work out for me. I'm too focused on school and the last thing I need is to get finessed by a man with sex-filled intentions. And everything about Bryan oozes sex.

His lips curve into an almost smile at me, most likely sensing my awkwardness. I quickly averted my gaze and turned back to the conversation with Jen, trying to shake off my unexpected eye contact with Bryan.

"I saw that." Jen's mouth forms a mischievous grin as she nudges me with her elbow. "Don't do it."

"What?"

"Flirt with him."

"Since when did smiling at someone mean flirting?" I scoff, sitting down at the nearest open table.

"Since he's fine as hell." She says a little too loud.

Vince's, and Tyrell's heads pop up. "Who's fine?"

"No one, just a guy I met at that party we went to." I quickly tried to change the subject.

"Oh, you mean that nigga, Bryan?" Vince says with a sly grin.

I roll my eyes, knowing where this conversation is headed. Jen has been trying to set me up with any eligible guy on campus since forever. Some may call it helpful, but I call it annoying.

"He's not my type, and besides, I'm not worried about dating right now." I say, trying to end the conversation and send a hint to Ty.

"Who said anything about dating? You need to stop running from the di-"

The sound of my phone ringing saves me from continuing this conversation.

I quickly grab my phone from my bag and see that it's a call from my mother. I excuse myself and rush outside to answer, trying not to think about the annoyed look on Tyrell's face.

"Hey, mom. What's up?"

"I need you to come home right away. We need to talk."

"Is everything okay?" I ask, my heart racing.

"It's about your father, and...well, it's something I need to tell you in person." I can hear the hesitation in her voice, and it only makes me even more worried.

Pacing back and forward on the curb in front of the parking lot my mind races trying to figure out what the hell is going on and why does my mom find it necessary that I rush home. All I know is, nothing good ever comes from my mom asking me to come home for a "talk". And her hurrying me home makes me want to waste time a little while longer.

Leaning on a pole right in front of me, I notice Bryan smoking and I can't help but stare. Even when he smokes, he looks like a piece of art. The sleeve tattoo he has on his right arm, perfect deep waves in his hair, nice strong build, smooth mocha skin; damn fine is an understatement.

"Did you wanna take a hit?" He asked me, eyes as red and heavy as ever, yet he seemed unaffected.

I nervously responded, "No thanks, I don't smoke."

"You don't drink or smoke. How's that working out for you?"

"So far, pretty shitty."

"If you ever need to feel less shitty, let me know. I've been known to help people experience the time of their lives."

Oh, I bet you have. "I find feeling shitty helps build character."

"I know this is odd, but can you drive me home real quick, please? I didn't drive today and I need to get out of here."

"You don't smoke or drink, but you skip classes?"

"I drink with caution."

"You drink water with caution for sure." He nods his head, signaling me to follow him. "Come on I'll drop you off."

"Thank you"

"It's nothing. Where do you live?"

"Down in Winchester."