ADHD

I don't know why

I say the things I say

And the I apologize

Just to act the very same way

To do the very same things

On the very next day

I don't want to blame

It all on my ADHD

But my excuse just stays the same

And it makes me hate me

Because all I wanna be

Is like everyone I see

They all seem so happy

Just like I wanna be

I feel like I'm two different people

I change with medication

These are the times when

I feel empty, when I crave purpose

I've searched in family and in friends

Even in schools and in churches

I just wanna be the reason

For somebody's smile

To help make my life feel

Like it's all worth while

I have a nice home, food at every meal

But I still have this hunger

There remains this desire

To achieve a goal, to feel success

For happiness to be acquired

Like I have something to prove

Someone to impress

I see it in the way I act

Even in the way I dress

From my shoes to my hair

As if anyone cares

But it's all just an act

Especially the confidence

I have very little, as a matter of fact

The reason I'm cocky

Is because I know that

We're all replaceable, yes even me

I finally found something that I'm actually good at

But I'm gonna lose it, because of how I act

When I'm truly myself, being pill-free

But when they're in my system, I become tense

I am better behaved, but at what expense

Other than the fact that me, isn't me

But I still don't know why

I say what I say

Or why I apologize

Just to act the very same way

And do the very same things

Yet again, the very next day