Who would've thought that my best friend of 15 years would rape me? Even to this day, I still can't believe it. Its been a year and 5 days since, and there are still times where I had to convince myself that it really happened. Not just the rape, but the fact that it was him. How could someone I know and love with all my heart do such a horrible thing? I sometimes have flashbacks from that horrid night. No matter how hard I tried to block it out, it just keeps coming back to haunt me. He's now in jail doing 15 years and every month since he's been in there he writes me letters, apologizing and letting me know how he's been feeling about being locked up. A part of me wants to write him back or go visit but I just can't bring myself up to do it. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. I missed our friendship and how things used to be. I remember the first day we met like it was yesterday.
It was a hot July day in 1999. I was 11 and Matt was 10. Matt's parents had recently gotten a divorce so his dad decided to move from Los Angeles to Harlem, New York and took Matt with him. They moved into my building, which was in a pretty decent neighborhood. After my next door neighbor, Ms. Barbara, died, I knew sooner or later someone else would move in and within the next week, Matt and his dad came. He was fat and light-skinned with curly black hair and freckles and the cutest dimples that appeared whenever he smiled. Aside from being the same skin complexion as him, I was the complete opposite. I was skinny with long brown hair, hazel eyes and a forehead that was larger than life itself. We were the most unlikely pair.
At first, I didn't like him at all. There was something about that just screamed out weird so whenever he said hi to me, I would just give him a head nod and then go about my business. I didn't mean to be rude but then again, I wasn't really the friendly type. On my dad's birthday, my mom decided to throw a surprise party for him and suggested to invite Matt and his dad so they could feel welcomed since we knew everyone that lived in our building. But the only problem was she wanted me to personally invite them. I asked her why she couldn't go herself since she was the one who wanted them to come but she threatened to slap the light skin off and since we were Caribbean, I believed her so I dragged myself next door. Matt was surprised to see me, I guessed he wasn't expecting me to ever knock on his door but he looked more than happy that I invited him over. His dad wasn't home yet but he still insisted on coming over. As we waited for my dad to come, he attempted to make conversation with but I just gave him basic one word answers. My older brothers, Eric and Brian, were much more nicer to him, which got the attention of my mom who continuously gave me deathly stares. When my dad finally came into the house, to everyones surprise, he was with Matts dad, the both of them laughing hard like they were old friends. In my head, I figured that since our dads were cool with each other that would mean that me and Matt would have to be cool, and I did not want that at all. After we sung happy birthday, I was getting ready to go outside without Matt but my dad stopped me and insisted I take Matt with me. I guess he read my mind and knew that as soon as we stepped foot outside I would leave him so told me to go to my room. I whined and complained but then he hemmed me up by my shirt and whispered into my ear that he would beat my ass if I kept complaining. I knew he wasn't the one to play with neither so I just gave in to his request. When he told Matt to follow me, that's when I really got annoyed. I thought that this day couldn't get any worse.
It was slightly awkward at first as we sat next to each other on my bed watching T.V, not saying a word to each other. I couldn't stand the silence and awkwardness so I turned my Playstation on and handed him the other controller. As we played, I decided to strike up a conversation and asked what his favorite games were and we continued to talk from there. I thought that me and him would have nothing in common but I was sadly mistaken. We liked the same foods, music, and games. He also loved to write poetry which I loved to read. We talked about almost everything and I was upset when he had to leave but I knew that after that day, we would become the best of friends.
