The Counselor [OLD VERSION]

The night on the roof

‘So when I went to high school, things started to get out of hand. I mean, school was okay. I had the sweetest friends. Only, nobody knew how I felt deep inside and nobody knew about home. They knew we were adopted siblings, but we never invited people to our home, because we just didn’t want anyone finding out about our dads. Everytime someone asked if they could come over the answer was: No. Even my best friend hadn’t seen my house. But it didn’t take long before someone found out who we were, of course some people already had recognized us from youtube, but nobody had seen our vlogs with our dads, until someone did. I found out because of Cameron, he came up to me while I was eating lunch with my friends at school. ‘We have a problem,’ where his exact words. I walked behind him out of the cafeteria and there where my other brothers.

‘What’s going on?’ I asked.

‘Someone in my class found out about our dads,’ Cameron explained. My jaw dropped.

‘You’re joking, right?’ I asked, but I now he wasn’t, everyone was looking dead serious, except for Blake, who didn’t care because he never cares. I sighed and then we split up, everyone knew what was going to be next.

That night I was sitting on the roof, thinking about Andy. This was the place where he jumped, where he decided to not look back. I looked down to the ground, It was a long way down. I sighed and then looked up, the stars where shining bright and there where so many. Tears started to fall down, I couldn't stop myself from crying. School had been okay, but now I didn't know if I could go back. If my friends would forgive me for keeping my home a secret. I was so scared and I just felt empty and lonely. I missed him, I missed Andy. I didn't want to admit it, but I felt like I was following his footsteps into a deep dark hole. Into the thing that lead to his suicide. I felt like doing everything what he did, but I wanted to show everyone I was stronger, because I promised. 

'But promise me little sister, don't ever do this to yourself. It will mess with your head.' 

Andy's voice, it was so clear he could have been standing next to me. But that was impossible, he wasn't there anymore. Never again I would hear is voice, never again I would see his smile....

I shook my head, trying to get him out of my head. I opened my eyes, the stars were a yellow blur against a black background because of the tears. I tried to fight them back, but I couldn't. Then I heard the creaking sound of a window getting opened. I didn't want to look beside me to see who was getting up the roof, I didn't want any company. A warm arm wrapped around my shoulder, two people sat down next to me. 'It's going to be okay, darling,' the voice of my brother Ryan said. I looked next to me, Ryan and Jake. Jake with his arm around me and Ryan with his knees up and his arms wrapped around them. They were both looking up at the sky.

'We miss him too, every day,' Jake said and he sighed.

Jake leaned backwards to grab something out the window, his guitar. He started to play a very familiar song: The light behind your eyes by My chemical romance. And somewhere through the first verse, Ryan started to sing with him. And somewhere I joined them. Our voices in perfect harmony, echoing through the night.’