Journal entries

My background

So I'm Rylee I turn 13 in 20 days and it's kinda exciting but eh.. I don't know I haven't really been myself lately but luckily I have my boyfriend by my side and doesn't judge me and he makes me feel like it will be okay because he always lets me talk about things and I can be up front with him which I have never been able to do with anyone ever then he came along and now I can just say what's on my mind and I love him so much ... ( also half of these will be about him just saying ) so what's been going on .. um in school I'm doing okay I guess I have a D in one class and some people won't freak out but me I stress day and night over it but I don't want to fix it because there is no point in trying anymore because no matter how hard I try in this class I will just fail ... But people tell me " you don't try hard enough in his class " " actually get some work done " but I do try ! I try my hardest yet I still fail..it's like my life is led up to expectation and brought down by reality and I'm sick of it ... I also don't know what's going on with friends anymore I don't know who is my friend and who isn't I just need clarity ... also the past few weeks have been good and bad I guess you would say because nathin( my boyfriend) and I get into fights ( not a lot but when we do it's over stupid things ) like yesterday i pissed him off because I said he had a side hoe already lined up ready to go when I leave to high school and he just walked off and so did I... I walked off in the rain and started to cry because I always find a way to fuck things up no matter what .. but we talked it out and we are okay now .. he worries a lot about me and I can see why .. because I'm always doing stupid shit and dangerous shit and he is always there when I am and he will try and stop me which I actually find cute :) sometimes he will be the cause of my sadness but overall he is the cause of my  true happiness ... And I never want him to leave me because I need him to reassure me that I'll be okay and it will be okay and I need him to kiss me on the cheek and make me smile like an idiot I need him to stay with me and be my councilor and let me talk to him about anything .. Honestly guys I really am happy with him .. like just hearing his name makes me smile like an idiot :) I don't know if he does the same but it doesn't matter as long as he is happy I'm happy :) well I'll write later ✌🏻️ uh bye