Gold Tinted Spectacles (Hecatemus Book #1)

Chapter 26 - Discussions

It was three hours before Harry could do more than sit staring at the wall. He had seen Sirius; it was all he had hoped for and so much worse as well. The guilt of falling for Voldemort's plan and causing his godfather's death had all but disappeared when he had bonded with Draco; there had been far too many other things to deal with to think about the past.

Yet seeing Sirius had brought it all back and he had been consumed by the need to atone, by the sense of being helpless to do anything, and then there was the fear. Harry had seen his godfather's dark side and he knew that Sirius Black was a passionate man, and he had found himself terrified that the man would hate him for being so weak in succumbing to Voldemort's scheme.

Even the memories Draco had shown him couldn't shake that fear, and it had settled in the pit of Harry's stomach, clawing away at his gut. It was like a pain that was eating away at him and nothing could kill it. In the end Draco had given up trying.

When he had been able to move properly, Draco had picked them both off the floor and led Harry to the bed. Harry had sat down on the edge and his soulmate had climbed on behind him, wrapping his arms around him lovingly. They had been sitting that way for nearly two and a half hours as Harry let the thoughts and emotions flow through him without hindrance. Draco had not interrupted once and Harry knew his soulmate was feeling everything as well.

"Hermione will have looked up that reference by now," Harry said eventually and found that his voice was steadier than he expected.

Draco had shared the whole time Harry had been unconscious with him and so he was aware of everything that had been said.

"We should go and see what she has found out," he continued slowly.

"That can wait until the morning," Draco told him quietly, "you need to sleep."

As usual Draco was thinking of Harry's health and he was sure that Draco needed sleep as much as he did. There was shock and confusion in Draco as well as himself and Harry knew he was the cause, but he couldn't shield his lover from this, it was totally out of his control.

"I don't think I can sleep yet," he admitted, "and they'll be worried. We should go down."

For a few moments Draco did not release the grip he had on Harry, but eventually he drew back. With a sigh Harry stood up, ignoring the complaints from his stiff legs, and turned, offering his hand to his soulmate. For a few seconds Draco looked up at him, the pain in his grey eyes obvious even if Harry hadn't been able to feel it firsthand. They had shared pain before, but this was raw and it was difficult for both of them. Not for the first time Harry was indescribably grateful for his soulmate.

[I love you,] it seemed to be the only sentiment for what Harry felt at that moment and, as he reaffirmed it, the ache inside him dimmed a little.

When Draco reached out and took his hand the ache reduced a little more.

[I love you too,] his soulmate's voice sounded in his mind and the ache was suddenly bearable.

They walked down the stairs slowly without further comment, hand in hand, united against the universe. There were a few looks in their direction from the members of the house who had not been in the room, but Harry had the distinct impression none of the reasoning behind the incident had been revealed.

"Feeling better, Mate?" Ron asked as if he was asking about something purely routine. "You know you shouldn't scare Malfoy like that; how would we explain his heart attack to Snape?"

Once again Harry was reminded what good friends he had as Ron, Hermione and Neville all calmly deflected the scrutiny of the rest of the house by pretending that Harry had just had a breakdown of some kind. Since this was an event which happened from time to time it was no longer news to Gryffindor. However, Harry also could not help noticing the large, dusty tome sitting on Hermione's knee.