It's Going On

"Future" isn't it tomorrow?

I know it'll be better in the future but isn't that just tomorrow? The future? How and when and with how much pain will I change?

I could be feeling totally complete right now, until I come into contact with humans that is. I could feel I'm awesome and tread on life with my crumbly  shaky and flaky confidence, but its still that, its still confidence. Only a sliver but atleast its here. I have it. Until it gets crushed.

I know it'll change one day.

But then I must admit that it isn't pleasant right now. That it's difficult.

With the shadows of time,

It's okay. You can talk to them. They don't think the worst about you. They do not look down very very much like he does, and he does. It'll be comfortable and beautiful one day.

It'll be bright. And instead of feeling like I could sow myself back together now! I could be... that, I could just be, you know.

That people around me are happy to have me.
As for my character, right now-it doesn't feel like its accomplished in making people feel dear and loved. It's just on the 'no, I couldn't be that horrible, with every word'.

It's all in the head, my love.

I don't want a guy to show me that. I wanna know that before I mert him.

That I'm not all wrong.

I'm not the most amazing person ever, I feel awkward with my own set of friends. Any amount of love is less or under constant suspicion. And I feel like staying away, like I can never get close.

Because of a guy. Unrequited first love. The power the motherfucker holds. I saw reply 1997 yesterday, it was the most amazing thing I ever saw-into getting on with your life even though that happened. Instead of crushing who he was. I don't know how he did it, if it was justified well.. nothing. Only that, it came to him like a bitch, but he still could work.