Happiness, Sadness, and Loss of Love

Happiness, Sadness, and the Loss of Love

Have you ever woken up from a deep sleep, and just smiled? Have you felt so happy, so complete, that you just smile. And it's not a smile from ear to ear, no, it's just a little smile at the corner of your lips. A lot of people believe that they have discovered true love, if you are one of these people then answer these questions to yourself. Would you kill a man, for this significant other? Would you die for them? But most importantly, would you live for them? Everyone uses dying as an example when the truth is that, in this day and age, it's harder to live than it is to die. It is harder to get past all of the drugs and violence. It is harder to emotionally survive because at every turn there's a new obstacle in your path. That's what life has done to humanity. Charles Darwin; a great man. He believed in something best explained in four words; survival of the fittest. This means that only the strong survive and in this world, that is exceedingly true. If you are in love, you are happy, you would kill a man to save the other person, you would die for that person, but most importantly, you would live for that person.

If you aren't in love then, sometimes, you will be sad. When you wake up, you're cranky. When you walk, your eyes are always to the ground beneath your feet. Sometimes you'll stay up hours on end, just thinking. Maybe you're thinking about someone, or maybe you're just thinking about the 75 point test in biology tomorrow. Sometimes you'll think about everything, and nothing at the same time. Sometimes someone will offer a hand to you and you clasp to it because this is the first time anyone has offered help. You rant to this person. You use this person as a personal microphone. You scream at the top of your lungs because you're scared. you're scared on the inside, you are an infant. You've tried to be strong your whole life but now someone is there for you and you're screaming because you're scared that they'll leave you. Everyone is sad sometimes, that's what life is. If life didn't have sadness, then there wouldn't be any way to be thankfully for happiness.

If you have experienced love but that person has left you, I'm sorry. I'm so deeply sorry because no one knows how to handle that kind of loss before. No one on this Earth is born with the capability of handling the loss of love. It's a different kind of loss. You've fought for this person to stay with you for as long as you've loved them because they are your outlet. But then they leave, maybe they die, or maybe they simply just don't want you anymore. I'm not sure which is worse but I know one thing for sure, you are hurting now. The loss of love makes someone's heart beat faster, it makes their mind go 100 miles and hour. It radiates in their chest and rattles their bones. It makes you want to crawl up on the inside because you know them better than anyone else. You know that person's soul, not their face. That person has turned into your drug, you're happiest when your with them. And now, you're in withdrawals. You've lost your drug and you're just finding some way to live. Happiness is flying around your body in tiny little pieces and you're just trying to clasp to one of them but the pieces are too small and they're flying too fast. You're scared of everything and everyone because you don't want to get attached ever again. You tell yourself that you don't want that feeling if that's what love is. You tell yourself and everyone around you that you're fine when you're not but you can't tell the truth because then you'd be mocked. Then you would be annoying people because who wants to listen to someone talk about someone else? You feel alone in your sorrow even though everyone tries to offer you a hand because you've lost someone that has touched your soul like no one else. You've found your perfect match, but then you lost it. It feels like it's not getting any better a month later because that kind of pain doesn't just go away. It doesn't just heal overnight. At first, you're in shock so you don't feel the need to cry. But then, late at night, you're in tears because at the time that you'd be talking/texting them, you're alone in your bedroom just thinking about how you could've done something different. You're thinking about how this was your fault when you have no reason to believe that. But then after you've stayed up hours on end a countless number of times, you realize that you deserve so much more than loving someone who doesn't love you back. You deserve better than someone who you would live for but they would just pitch you to the dirt. All I've told you is about how hard this time is. All that I've ranted about is how much sorrow and sadness you'll experience. What I haven't told you is how this is an end, yes, but this is also just a new beginning. This pain will heal very slowly, but with time and patience, you'll be happy again. Eventually, you will trust someone with your heart again. This is a new beginning for you to do whatever you want. Now, you don't have to think about what that person thinks. You don't have to think about what's best for them because you no longer have enough influence in their life. You don't have to sit up at night thinking because you've already done that. You get to start something new. You get to start new relationships, maybe you can take that job you've always wanted but they didn't approve. Maybe, just maybe, you can find just a small sliver of happiness and cling to it like there's no tomorrow because in the end, that's what it will take to find true happiness again.