whenever someone smokes cigarettes my eyes water and i cough a whole lot and i can barely breathe & also when someone smokes it i get really emotional because my grandpa died from a stroke from his smoking & my mom smoked for so long and she said she only stopped because "i kept bugging her about it". she told me this in a fucking public place. i remember the day. i saw her smoking a cigarette that wasn't non-nicotine and i started crying because she always tells me when she's going to smoke a cigarette like that & she never tells me. fucj why do i get so emotional over something so small? my mom yelled at me & called me lazy really loudly and i was crying because when someone yells at me like that i get really emotional & my friend, KNOWING THIS, i told them about it and they said "i just can't believe that you can complain about something as small as that". okay, so you make me cry even fucking more knowing that i'm already emotional and in a very vulnerable state? im sorry for being an attention whore about all of this i know it's not even a big deal to any of you and you won't care so lol why do i even take the energy to type this
