No Escape

Chapter One

Chapter one

I threw a last glance into the mirror in front of me. Light balls, placed like a frame around it, shone into my face, illuminating my dark eyes but enhancing its smoked look. My make up was on spot: lips - red, eyelids - brown, cheekbones - contoured, eyebrows - sharply drawn without an edge. My dark blond hair was pulled up strictly into a bun, which was why my eyebrows and eyes were lifted even higher, making my face look a bit alienated. Still, I was hot and elegant at the same time. Something only I could pull off. I was going to be the center of attention this night. I was about to throw my heavy dancing shadow on to everyone and push them into the wall of shame and embarrassment behind me, squashing them like bugs. Killing them with simply nothing but breathtaking beauty.

"Didn't you look long enough into the mirror now?", I heard Katy's voice. I did not even need to look at her to recognize that voice. Her stupid and on purpose high pitched way of talking was enough for me to know that it was her, who disturbed me.

Averting my eyes slowly from myself, I shot her a deadly glance. Yet when I caught sight of her blue Outfit, I smiled a bit through narrow eyes. I was the only one, who had the permission to wear black. Obviously, because I performed the most important role out of everyone. I needed to be different for the audience to be able to follow a story without any words but dance moves only. Thinking about how our dance professor Stein depended on me as the leading role, made me feel even more spite. It must suck to be them and not me.

It seemed like Katy got why I smiled at her and she naturally felt a bit uncomfortable in her own pale skin next to me, therefore, I grinned at her - kind of like an animal, just to piss her off even more. And of course it worked. Her insecure face switched slowly into an arrogant one. Women always do that when they feel like they need to appear strong or whenever they did not want to lose to somebody else. But she held no chance against me from the very beginning. However, knowing that I made her doubt herself, was not enough satisfaction.
"Looking at beauty is a sublime act of virtue. I would love to advice you to follow my example, but sadly we only see each other at our dancing courses."

She tightened her thin eyebrows and pressed her heavily purple painted lips to a thin line, as she for the first time since I met her actually talked in a normal tone: "What ever, Miss Universe. We are about to perform on stage. Be so kind and move your fat ass."

"Oh, you mean that fat ass your boyfriend just complimented so friendly a couple of days ago while I was looking for books in the library?"
Katy's look became furious. Her entire face was disfigured in a way that every pucker, she tried so hard to spare the world from, decided to step out in their full glory. I wished I never met them because I in this very moment started to regret my rude behaviour. It is like she is already on the ground and I am stamping on her again and again.

"I really believe, it is time for you to grow up, Esme. Beauty is not everything", she said as she left and I did not really feel like responding to her. Instead, I decided to finally take a break off my relationship with the mirror and join the other dancers.

All the others paired up with the opposite gender and gave no sounds off to the environment. The tension lay thick in the air and weighed heavily on my shoulders. I sighed loudly as I slightly pulled up my eyebrows. It had always been that way. From the point when I had found out about a new performance until the last ten minutes before the actual performance I had been overloaded with self esteem and confidence but then! the last ten minutes I started to doubt myself and my incredible talent. I drew every single terrible horror scenario out in my head and imagined everything from A to Z that could go horribly wrong and kill us all, although nothing of that sort would ever happen.

"What is it with that face, Esme?", Sanchez said. He was my dance partner for this time. He was a bit taller than I was, and I was really tall, and quite handsome. His character was a bit too cheery and noisy for my taste to actually be interested in him. He had that sunny boy air around him, which I really disliked when it came to guys. Anyway, I decided to get along with him, as I would probably never dance with him again. Hopefully.
"Nothing."

Usually I would have flirted with him just for the fun I gained out of it but right now I was filled with a questionable mash up of emotions like excitement and worry or relief and tension that I did not posses the nerve to deal with him. I could tell by looking at his disappointed face that he truly believed that he had the opportunity to cement ties between us but he was wrong and I would love to break this down to him after the dance, because right now his stupid soft and irritated face just pissed me off and acted contraproductive on my mood.
"Has Aunt Irma arrived again, Esme?", he joked.

At times like these, I felt like he seriously missed education and needed a fist into the middle of his face. Thinking back, Katy was not that wrong probably, considering that Sanchez was indeed hot but apparently too dumb to figure when it was about time to shut up. I react allergic to that type of people. They disturb my peace and inner balance, why I always try to avoid them. Yet, it would be really unprofessional if I acted all diva like and demanded for a new partner. I might be very superficial but I am not dumb. Behaving bossy would decrease my chances of gaining international fame and success.

"I prefer not to talk about these things. Let us just prepare for the performance. I am sure, everything will turn out fine if we concentrate enough", I lied.

I was an incredible actress. Not for movies or theater, but for lying to people from my surroundings. I actually was really scared, however, if I showed that to the others, they would feel uneasy and scared as well. That always happened when I showed insecurity. Everybody believed that if I was slightly worried, they all also needed to worry. Somehow my life had been like this since childhood. Even in Kindergarten everybody looked up to me and I played something like an authority role. But being an authority as a result meant to be alone. Nobody wants to have that friend, who is always criticizing and looking down. Although I had always been very strong, my friendless situation had bothered me until the age of sixteen. That had also been the period of my life when I started to think more about what I want and what makes me happy in life. During the last two years at school I did not have friends, which was fine with me, because I knew that every single person on my school seeked for a friend below their own standard just to make themselves look better and stand out more.

I, on the other hand, was always looking up to authorities and seeking to be with them. I always believed that first class people would attract first class people and I never gave up on that.

With energetic and firm steps Professor Stein entered the backstage and clapped loudly. It gave an echoing sound off and grabbed everyone out of their conversations and placed them like chess figures towards him.
"Alright, as I can see you have paired up. Now please build rows and wait for the orchestra to start. Remember to breath freely before your dance and to control your heartbeats and moves during it. Never trail off of your thought but don't hold on too tight on them either. As you all know, the beauty of dancing is to be elegant in a spontaneous way!"

He gave me a reassuring smile and then stepped away, out of the backstage into the audience's first row as we were gathering infront of the stage entrance.

The orchestra began vehemently with three small pauses between the loud sounds and I gently yet strong jumped accordingly three times onto the stage with my long legs in wide steps nearly flip like. In the middle of it I stood wide legged on my tip toes and arched my back until my head was barely above the wooden ground while I spread my arms into opposite directions.

As the violinists began to play softly this time, I slowly pulled one leg to my body and then lifted it into the air smoothing it from its edge.
I gently placed my hands flat on the ground and while the music grew clamorous, I pressed myself up high, bringing my legs together in the air, landing safely on them through a cartwheel and immediately raising again into the air like a free spirit performing a backflip, landing in a split.

The music shut down. Gently I moved my arms with my fingertips barely touching my upper body. I twisted them slowly while doing so before I brought them back together over my head, which I leaned back into my neck.
I remained in that position and breathed freely. At times like these when the audience appeared black and faded away losing itself in the background, when the spotlights were bent on me heating my body up while I was thrilled by the sensation of lack of air in my lungs, when it felt like there was nobody but me but at the same time hundreds and hundreds of pairs of eyes were laid on me, yes at these times I felt alive. I felt the blood boiling and running through my veins.

I crawled together on my spot and the music was still silent. I bent my knees and pulled them into my chest. Everybody was watching me and me only. Just when I was about to tilt my head in and hide it behind my legs, my look crossed a pair of eyes from the audience. I was watching somebody else although that should have not been the case.