Hop, Skip, Wed

Happy

"Everyone says love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality Love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again."

-Anonymous

***

I woke up, took a shower and smiled, last night was great. Archer got along with two of my closest friends. I always wanted a partner who would get along with my friends without me having to force it.

I took a shower and changed into a sweatshirt and tights, I wasn't going anywhere today so what was the point of dressing up. I gave Mia a shower, fed her and let her go back to sleep. That's all she liked to do.

I turned my laptop on so I could call the kids back home. It was hard being away from home especially when the kids were so attached to me. I would always make it a point to call them whenever I was away.

"SURPRISE!" Ava and Lilly screamed as soon as I connected to the Skype call.

"What's going on?" I said confused as to why they were screaming.

"We moved into the new house!"

I focused on the background and they were right, they had moved in

"What are you guys doing? Where is Sharon and all the other ladies and how did you guys move?" Sharon was the head of the rest of the staff. She was responsible for making schedules for shifts and also in charge of the cleaning staff. She used to live in the same apartment complex as me. One day, we were sitting next to each other during an apartment meeting and we began talking. She told me she was an orphan after I told her I worked at the orphanage. She said she would love to volunteer but I offered her a job instead because we were low on staff. Since then she's been working with me.

"We started packing right after you left and we moved in the day before yesterday! We have decorated the whole thing and guess what? We did it all on our own! "

I asked Ava again, "What? I don't understand."

"We decided to surprise you! We knew you were stressed out about how the move was going to be difficult and so we decided to do it on our own!" It was true, I had been super stressed about moving houses especially with CPS breathing down our necks.

"Thank you, that's so sweet. I also have great news!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, last week nine families showed up to the orphanage and decided to adopt kids. I didn't tell you guys because I wanted the paperwork to be done before I told you guys."

"No way! You're lying!"

"I'm serious!"

"This is such a good week!"

*

This was not a good week.

On Sunday, Mia woke up with a fever, I drove us to the hospital where the doctor told me it was just a viral and would get better soon. But I had to monitor her for the next 72 hours to make sure the fever didn't surpass 100 °C.

I watched her like a hawk for the next two days, thankfully she did get well but turns out not sleeping properly for four days makes you sick.. On Thursday, I woke up with the worst migraine ever.

I spent the whole day in bed, at around seven o'clock my mom came into my room.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, sitting down next to me on my bed.

"Much better, thanks to your soup." I saw, pointing to the empty soup bowl on my side table.

"I'm glad."

We sit in silence for a minute before she opens her mouth to say something but closes it without saying anything.

"Do you want to say something?"

"I..I, are you happy?"

"What?"

"Are you happy? The last time you were in a relationship I never asked you that and I regret it everyday so I want to know. Are you happy?"

"That wasn't your fault, you know that. I am happy! Happier than I've ever been."

"You can say no you know."

"What do you mean?"

"To the wedding, to all this, to Archer if you want to. Your dad and I won't be mad at all, we'll understand. We don't care about some dumb tradition, but we do care about you. You're our only daughter and we want you to be happy."

"I am happy. What's going on? Where is all this coming from?"

"It's just...I was going through old photos and I noticed you looked so sad in all of them. I can't believe I never noticed that before. You were so so sad and I never even noticed. I feel so bad, so fucking bad. Everyday I go to sleep, and I see your face. In the middle of the night, soaking wet from the rain, covered in bruises. All I can think about is how you don't hate me, how you can stand to even look at me.." She said, sobbing into her hands.

I scoot to where she's sitting on the bed and wrap my arms around her. "It wasn't your fault. It was his." I say sternly. "I don't blame you, not one bit. You are my mother. I love you. I could never hate you. Not after everything you've done for me. You raised me, made me the strong, independent woman I am today. I could never in a million years hate you. Okay?"

"Are you being honest?"

"Yes mom. I'm being honest. I'm so happy. Archer is so nice, to me, to the kids. I want to marry him."

I wasn't lying when I told her I was happy. For the first time in years, I felt truly, deeply happy. Maybe it was because I hadn't visited home in so long, or maybe because I was on a break from work, or maybe it was because I finally had free time. It didn't matter what it was, what mattered was that I was happy.

It was true I had been miserable and no one had noticed, but I can't blame them. I was just very good at hiding it. I was embarrassed that my relationship had failed. I had spent so long trying to make it work that I forgot that I wasn't the only one who was supposed to try to make it work. By the time I realized it was already too late. But better late than never.

We spent the rest of the night watching movies, eating a crap ton of junk food. I had never thought that my mom felt that way. I can't believe one man had ruined the lives of so many people.