I feel like I should apologize... It's probably my fault we aren't friends anymore. I don't even know what I did.
You were my best friend, and I still have your number programmed into my phone because some part of me still thinks that we can work things out. I know that it probably will never happen, but I still hope it will.
I remember when we first started talking ooa, I can't remember who started talking to who first, but it was awkward. It was awkward in a good way. We started talking about fan fiction, and that's when we became friends. Eventually we became really good friends, maybe even best friends, if you would go as far as saying that. We'd critique each other's works, and we'd have the most crazy conversations... I remember I wrote something and you kept calling it Grits, and I knew you were crazy. But then again, so was I.
We had so many collabs that we kept deleting, debating whether people should step inside our minds or not.. I know you're still friends with Bella, and I guess you could say I am too, but it's more of just people who know each other.. I miss our friendships.
And I just have to say thank you. You've talked me out of suicide way too many times than anybody should. You'd call me, and I wouldn't answer, but you'd leave me this heartfelt voicemail. I still haven't listened to one, because I'm afraid it's you telling me that we aren't friends anymore. You were the only person I trusted at the time, and I had never even met you. I told you everything, and I miss being able to do that.
I'm not sure what it was, but towards the end, I knew what was happening, and I cried. I cried way too much over someone. And I apologized countless times to you, but you never forgave me. I feel awful, I hope you know that.
I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
