Sanctuary

Reading between the lines

I’m already awake, but I’m just waiting to hear it…still waiting.

“Niles get up! It’s time for school!”

Yep there it is. That sound for whom the bell tolls. I can already hear them screaming their arses off like a bunch of chimps, all thanks to the fact I live so close to school. As I look out of my window I can see them all on the schools top yard: my ‘friends’, the moshers, the bullies, the white trash, the slutty girls etc. The same old view of my fellow pupils. I can’t pretend to be sick again, I did that yesterday. I think my dad knew I was lying, he probably only let me off because he felt sorry for me, but he wouldn’t do that again “school was too important for my future.” as he always said. I appreciated the fact that instead of getting me up gently, my mum thought it necessary to consistently shout from the top of the landing, as if the annoyance I felt in a school morning wasn’t bad enough. I have to drag myself out of bed to get dressed. I hated my school clothes; they made me look like a chav (the term we used to describe white trash) they weren’t even the right size but my cheap parents said I would grow into them, but it was more that they wouldn’t spend extra money on clothes that actually fitted. I shoved open the bathroom doors and looked at my face in the mirror, I was a mess. I lazily brushed my teeth, washed my face and came down stairs. I had to do all of this all within the space of half an hour, all just to go to a place that might as well be called youth prison. But it is what it is, right? Isn’t that what you always used to say to me brother? But then again you and I are totally different people. But today was special for two reasons, one because today was a Friday, meaning that after today I had two days off; secondly because, finally after a whole year, I would reunite with my friend Joe. Although it was something I had mixed emotions about.

So I left the house, after my mum gave me a half heart felt “Have a good day at school.” I hate the walk to school; my journey always includes me walking past the school fence, allowing people on the top yard to see me walking by. It’s unwanted attention. There’s always some idiot shouting my name from the top of his voice or coming up with some unoriginal insult, such as “Niles you gay boy!” or “Who’s the faggot, oh wait its Niles.” Etc. (I wasn’t gay by the way, that was just how people would talk) I’m forced to walk by now. I quickly speed up and keep my head down as I walk past. Hopefully no one will see me. “Niles!” Damnit! I think to myself. Come on Niles, ignore them. “Niley boy!” someone shouts, it sounds like Cameron. Just pretend you don’t hear them, keep your calm.” I mumble to myself. “Oi Niles you gay piece of-” I turned the corner just in time. I’m safe from verbal abuse, for now. At least the rest of the walk to school won’t be stressful. The bell rang just as I got into school. I went to go up the stairs to my form room when I saw Cameron with a mate. He smiled when he saw me; he blocked my path and held out his arms. “Stairs blocked, under construction, you’ll need to go round.” I wasn’t in the mood for this and I shoved past his arm and ran up to my form room, hoping I wouldn’t get hit on the way up, but all he said was, “Gay boy.” ;amazingly I made it to form on time. I arrived last, the problem with arriving to form last was that five other guys and I liked to sit next to each other on the back table, but there were only five seats. Tom looked at me and smiled, he knew I would have to grab a chair and sneak into positioning myself at the end of the table; without Mr Harper noticing. So that’s what I did. I grabbed, I snuck, I positioned. Yes! He didn’t notice! Then he noticed. He came over quietly. “You can’t sit there Niles, you’re going to have to move.” You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought to myself. “Why?” I asked, whilst supressing frustration. “I don’t cause any disruption, do I? I don’t cause any problems.” The teacher sighed                                                     “Listen, there’s a spot available on Megan’s table and one on Harrys’ table, take your pick.” Take my pick? Take my pick! Was he honestly giving me these ridiculous options?! Did he honestly not think as to what might happen if I was on those tables? Did he not even think I would be exposed to ridicule?! He has given me the option of the bitchy table or I the bully table… Arsehole! I kept a calm composure on the outside, but on the inside I wanted to grab his fat ugly face and mask it into the table. So I went for option C. I smiled. “I need the toilet.” he and I both knew I didn’t need it, but he couldn’t say no; it was one of the only times I was allowed to go “Fine.” he grumbled “But be quick.” So I arrived back fifteen minutes later, “conveniently” the same time form ended. I grabbed my bag (hoping the other guys hadn’t stolen something) and left to go to lesson, smiling at the teacher on the way out.