365 Days

Day Six - Awakening

I hate waking up.

My mother would chastise me for saying that, but it's true. "Hate is a very strong word, Kara," she'd say. "You don't mean that." But it's true.

After my father died, sleep had been the only way to escape, but even the dark depths of the night were plagued with nightmares. I hadn't had one in ages, but now -

Project 365's bringing it all back.

Wet raindrops begin to fall on my face, sliding into the crevices of my closed eyelids. I can hear the raindrops echo, bouncing and splashing, snapping against branches and rippling the water.

For a moment, I think back to the cold, clean rooms of the Infirmary. It's easy to imagine that someone's trying to wake me up by snapping their fingers, but I know the sound of rain, in this case, is much worse.

I force my eyes open and sit up.

The springy moss beneath the willow branches is soaked, and so am I. My clothes are damp to the touch, but I'm not cold because of the lingering fever.

I curse at myself internally, and then at the rain and the water and the trees and Project 365 and suddenly I'm screaming unintelligibly and sobbing, crying.

It feels good.

Let it out, I tell myself. Let it all out and then move past it.

Soon enough, no more tears will come and my voice has turned hoarse. The white noise of the rain returns, punctuated by a faraway bird's call.

I dig my fingers into the wet ground and force myself up.

I feel terribly weak, but I need to stay warm, otherwise I'll catch a cold, or hypothermia, or something.

The river and the willow fronds blur in front of me, and I quickly steady myself against the tree. I cast one last glance at my old fire pit, drenched in rain. Shouldering my backpack, I carefully pick my way out of the willow fronds and into the forest.

It's definitely more sheltered in here. The rainfall is much less, but here I can see the mist creeping through the trees.

My soaked shoes squelch into the damp ground with each step. I wince, sidestepping puddles and fallen logs.

Everything is wet, and that means that there's no firewood. Sighing, I pick my way cautiously over to a large log leaning against another tree. Underneath the log, there's a small dry patch with a couple of branches. I bend down to pick them up, scooping up a couple of dried-up pine leaves to use as tinder.

I find a couple more sticks and leaves in tiny dry spots around the area - you just have to know where to look for them. Soon, I return back to the log leaning against the tree.

I had been stupid before - what was I thinking? I'd let myself sleep, knowing full well that the weather could change at any minute. I'd let myself sleep without any shelter to protect me.

Until the rain subsides, I'm going to stick it out underneath this log. At least it's some sort of shelter.

I break the branches in half and arrange them carefully, like I had done before. How many days ago had it been?

I glance down. Day Six.

The tinder goes underneath. I pull out the fire-starter and try to get a spark.

It's wet, like everything else in my backpack. Luckily, the metal dries with one swipe against the dry ground, and another strike produces a tiny spark.

The tinder doesn't catch at first. In frustration, I yell at it, startling a bird in the trees. The next spark catches on, somehow, and a tiny flame appears - I laugh, in spite of it all.

As the flames build, I brace myself and run back into the cold, snatching up whatever semi-dry wood I can find. I bring my haul back and slowly feed the fire as it eats up branch after branch hungrily. I shiver, letting the warmth caress my damp body, and then brace for a final time and duck back out of my shelter.

This time, I pick up the largest branches I can find and lay them against the log and the tree to create a back wall. It provides me with just a little more shelter and protection, should the - I shudder just thinking about it - coyote return.

I weave leaves into the gaps in the wall, and return to my spot beside the fire, thinking how did it rain this much in one night?

Because just a couple of days ago, it had been sunny and dry.

But then again, just a couple of days ago, I'd been naive and gotten sick.

It's funny how fast things change, isn't it?