September Sorrow

There was once a very lonely "goth" girl named September. At least that's what strangers call her. They just judged her on her appearance but what they didn't know is that her past was tragic, and they are reasons for her to be anti-social.

      Have you ever felt like your past follows you where ever you go? I feel like this all the time, especially after that one event that happened about a year ago; but for some reason is only getting to me now. Random thoughts barge in my mind and start bouncing off my skull and just fills my head with this darkness that takes over. That's all I ever really think about, but only around this time of year. The same month, that those horrifying events took place. I can still hear it, hear those same words my mother said, I can still smell the sweet summer breeze; it's almost as if I'm stuck in the past, hoping to one day break free from this cage that I can't seem to find the key for, trapped along with the memories, shards of my family's broken heart which was whole at one point.

      Back in September *flashback* "September! Come and help Mommy and Daddy build this treehouse."
     "Coming Mom!" I grabbed my hammer and nails and headed to the forest near our house, where my parents were. "Remind me again why we're building this? It's not like I'm gonna use it, I'm not 9 anymore." I said as I started hammering down the nails of the roof.
      "Well me and your father thought it would be nice to have a family area where we can all be 9 years old together" She put a happy expression on her face, but I could see through it. There was definitely something wrong.
      "Yeah come join us Sep" That's what my dad used to call me, I hated that nickname.

      "Nah, I'll be inside, texting my friends" Oh, how I took my family for granted.

      "Your loss!" My dad yelled as I rolled my eyes and continued walking. I loved how they were immature, but I never really embraced it. After I stopped talking to them, and just focused on my friends and my social life, we started to drift away from each other.

        One night right before I was about to turn off the lights, I overheard them talking. So I ripped off my covers, determined to find out what was going on. I got up, feeling a slight chill coming from their room, I shivered and continued. I turned the door knob slowly and carefully, hoping that it wouldn't make a creek. I sighed in relief that they didn't notice me. I put my ear up against their bedroom door; their harmless talking started getting louder, until it turned to a full-fledged argument. I never heard them like this. I listened closer.

      "It's your fault for losing your fucking job you idiot! This is all your fault that we can't afford this house anymore!"

      "My fault?! How is this my fault?! Maybe if you would've stopped sitting on your ass all day twiddling your thumbs and would get a fucking job already, maybe this wouldn't be an issue!" They continued for what seemed like hours, I didn't know how to stop it. Yes, I wanted it to stop, badly but I just don't have the courage to stand up like that, afterall I could get too involved to the point where It could just worsen. Besides, they obviously don't want me to know about it anyways. I sneaked back to room, quietly and carefully shutting the door behind me. I dived into my bed and covered myself with my dark purple and black comforter like some kid scared of what's under their bed. I tried to squeeze my ears shut but the sound of yelling and cursing broke through. I couldn't take it, it felt like it was hard to breathe. I just shut my eyes and hoped that I would just fall asleep.

      Before I knew it, I heard birds chirping and the bright light of sunshine was seeping through my sheets. I threw off the covers and squinted at the bright light peering through my window. I got up, stretched, and opened the door, still tired as hell.

       I headed to the kitchen to find my mother and father making breakfast. Mmm, pancakes. I thought. I tried not to get too into the appetizing food and noticed that, my mom and dad were happy. Cheerful and immature as always. Were they having fights every night and just never notify me about what exactly was going on? Thoughts stirred in my head. 

     "What's up Sep?" Oh no, my parents are catching on.

     "Oh, nothing" I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough. They could tell something was going on.

     "Sweetie, are you sure, cause you look-"

     "Just shut up" oh no, that's not what I meant. They are already having financial problems, now I'm just being a bitch about a fight that I happened to hear. They were  both stunned and looked at each other with confusion and anger.

      "Go to your room." He looked down at me in dissapointment

       "But-"

       " Just go!" He yelled. 

       "This family is so unfair!" 

       " LEAVE, NOW!" I sprinted to my room and slammed the door shut. What's wrong with me? I wondered. I never spoke to them like that, I wasn't even angry, it just kind of spewed out like a water gun. 

        I heard yelling and cursing coming from the other side of the wall. I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, but I could tell I was the cause. I decided to tackle the problem and apologize. Just before I went to turn the knob on my door, the fighting stopped and I heard footsteps coming towards my room.