The School Bitch Wants Me (NamSong fanfic)

My Letter to Nam Taehyun

2 days ago, I was so devastated as I read through "2ne1 Officially Disbanding" and "Nam Taehyun leaves WINNER" and up until now I am so upset. I hope you hear me out first.

Let's go back to 2014.

You were introduced as Team A's main vocal during WIN era. You've risked blood, sweat, sleep, food, emotions, pride and tears for a battle that would change your entire life. You've bet your life by the tip of your fingertips, chiseled from too much guitar plucking and your body, too frail from too much rehearsing. Weeks after, you and you're team emerged victorious, now forever dubbed as WINNER. It felt good. Right, Taehyun?

This maknae enchanted everyone with his quiet, shy but humorous demeanor in Winner TV. A maknae that has a heart for his hyungs and a very talented guy as he has shown other charms in Weekly Idol. TV appearances and tours, whether Korea or all over Asia, you raked in love from the people who have seen you. You were the monster rookies. You also proved to the world that you guys are something that is worth watching for.

And then just like how they took storm in 2014, they just disappeared all throughout 2015. You guys were nowhere to be found. You just left trails on your SNS account so that fans would stop worrying about you but I get more worried whenever I think about it further that you act like okay when everything isn't.

Then February 2016 came, after disappearing from InCle's sight, they've soared once again with Baby Baby and Sentimental but it was a very bumpy ride. It took you two or three more weeks before you get that sweet No. 1 Trophy with Sentimental. It was hard for you, but still you smiled all throughout because you didn't want to disappoint us.

I loved you as 귀몰쌤 (Monster Teacher) in Bandal Chingu and we saw you in your most sincere side of yours to the kids (especially Hayul) and to your hyungs. It made me love you more.

I loved you as the intelligent kid in Running Man, acing and slaying the word game.

I loved you as a budding, learning and growing actor. You look so adorable.

And during that duration, I noticed that your smile is not genuine anymore. It felt like you were hiding something from me-- from us and it hurts because I do not know anything about it and I cannot do anything to ease your pain.

After your schedules are over, you were uploading songs in Soundcloud and I was confused because it sounded so sad and hurt, even with the last track that you said "fuck anything" because you have had enough. I wish I could hug you tight.

I read that you'll be taking a break from entertainment industry for a while because you came out having a mental health issue and I said to myself that I have nothing else to do but to wait for you but after you left Winner, I do not know what to do with you...

I'm still sad.

I'm still hurt.

But know this, Nam Taehyun.

Your health is much more importantfor me than your music, so I will accept it. I want you to be genuinely happy again. I will wait for you very patiently.

I will send you IG dm's to make sure you are well thrice a week, even though you won't see or open them.

I will still write about you because you are my bias, you've imprinted me to support you and your hyungs. You caught me since the start; from your looks to your talent.

Importantly, I fell for you. Hard. Accepting your flaws and your personality? I can.

Rest well, Taehyun-ah. You must be tired.

I love you.

So much.

I fucking love you so much.

(attached a video that perfectly describe what is my ideal happening)