Handwritten (One Shot Collection)

We Become What We Behold

Trigger Warning. The content of this pseudo-horror one-shot deals with some very dark themes surrounding suicide, depression, self-mutilation, and other aspects of highly severe emotional distress. Please be aware that it is meant purposefully to contain concepts surrounding those themes that should come off as uncomfortable and atypical.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: +1-800-273-8255

We Become What We Behold was inspired by the song Dark Times by the Weeknd feat. Ed Sheeran.

***

"There's a world out there, full of new things. Of people willing to show you kindness, of colours, and music, and learning...and I'm going to show it to you. All of it."

Evening had never really been my favourite time of day. I was much more a proprietor of the sunlight.

On this particular evening I sat at my tiny kitchen table, fingers drumming against the cheap laminate surface and eyes flitting aimlessly around the apartment. My absentmindedness combined with raw exhaustion was either a sign of sexual frustration, or ravenous hunger. Perhaps it was a respectable blend of both. I tugged my phone from the overly skin tight pocket of my old torn jeans and flicked it on to meet a pitiful lack of notifications.

There was a bottle of white wine calling my name from the fridge, and a tabby cat doing so in her own unique way near my ankles. "You must be hungry." I looked down into her unblinking, golden eyes which on any other day of the week, would have been unsettling. As if the cat heard me, she lifted her two front paws up onto knee and dug her claws into the denim.

"Alright, just a minute. Give me a minute." I brushed her off and rose, traversing the length of the kitchen and crouching down to pull open a long skinny cupboard by it's rusty knob. The storage space was designed for pizza trays, baking sheets, and other flat objects that were meant for the top rack of the oven, but my disorganized mind had delegated it for cat food instead. At my thigh, the sleek brown feline rubbed the crease of it's muzzle against me, yearning for affection.

"I said just a minute Maya." I told her, running the inside of my palm down the flat part of her head, then pressing my fingers behind her ears. The cat released a soft purr, the sound fading away when I stood up and placed a small can atop the kitchen counter. Pulling back the tab, the food within was quickly tipped onto a small white plate, which then ended up at Maya's feet.

A knock at the door followed a minute or two of quiet lapping, and I traversed the tiny apartment to pull it open. Shawn was leaning on the frame of the door, a smirk dominating his expression.

"Can I help you?" I asked, ensuring my voice was only ninety percent teasing.

"Oh, I know you can." He lifted his eyebrows, showing a line of eggshell white teeth. He had a skateboard propped between the floor and his right palm.

Laughing softly, I stepped backwards and pulled the door all the way open, gesturing for him to come inside. "Where's Gabe? Did you use that thing to get over here?"

"With Hayley for the weekend. She's been taking him to school and back before her classes." Shawn removed his leather jacket, setting the article over one of the kitchen chairs. "And no, I didn't want to leave it in the back of the car, that thing has been broken into more times than I can count. Hey there my chubby little Mai Tai."

"If you're going to insult a lady, you could call her by the name she was actually given." I muttered under my breath, realizing quickly that he was referring to the cat and catching a smile seconds later.