Lust Of Innocence | Park Jimin

Chapter Six

•Lust of Innocence•

It had been another restless night. She could see the sky clearly from her comfortable position in the bed. It was just past dawn and the traces of pink and orange has disappeared from the sky, replaced by the usual baby blue with the sunlight making its way through the white shears that gently swayed because of the ceiling fan that was set to high, causing the room to feel like there was a light breeze constantly moving about. Nari made the fan switch to full power in the middle of the night, hoping the refreshing cool air would soothe her to sleep. Unfortunately for her, that plan failed. It had been like this for the past two nights ever since the night Jimin blew up on her.

Thinking about it made her cringe at herself, for she knew that what was consuming her thoughts during those long and sleepless nights was guilt. She had no excuses because it was all her fault that their supposed date was ruined. The girl misjudged him to such an extreme extent that the generous and gentle man that she got to know, turned into a man full of anger and distaste . . . and there was no one to blame but herself. Nari knew very well that he must have been frustrated the whole night and her insults and judgements stacked higher and higher the more she opened her mouth, but her final words to him were surely the last straw and brought out a side to him that she had no idea he had.

Placing a pillow over her face, Nari thought about how long this guilt would consume her. Surely, it is destined to go away . . . or so she thought. But she understands what must happen in order to stop her self-hatred from that night. Chae-Rin would be telling her the same thing, but she wasn't even in the country at the moment because she was on her romantic honeymoon. Taking the pillow off her face, she shut her eyes and sighed, allowing herself to arise from her self-pity and take control of the situation.

•••

The phone lay on the coffee table, untouched and the screen dark. The girl has been pacing back and forth for the past five minutes trying to piece what she was going to say. "I'm sorry; how hard is that?" She mumbled to herself in frustration. With her legs growing tired, she slumped down on the sofa feeling miserable and defeated. Her words were crucial and she didn't want to complicate things more than they already are.

Her hand slowly reached out to her phone and she stared at it while it was in her grasp. A feeling of déjà vu occurred to her and she chuckled, remembering how she was overly nervous about calling Jimin for the time of pick-up for the reception. Then her lips turned into a frown, recalling how he actually tolerated her at that time. Exhaling sharply, she whispered, "No more stalling," and clicked on his contact and allowed her phone to dial his number.

Precisely four rings sounded through her ears and she nearly lost hope when she heard a tired and slightly husky "hello." The brown-headed girl covered her mouth in surprise and understanding, for she didn't even consider the fact that he may have been sleeping.

"H-Hi, Jimin," she hesitantly and slowly responded. There were a few seconds of silence when he coldly responded, "Nari? What do you want?" She was very taken aback by his tone and her shoulders slumped in disappointment. He really was pissed off at her, which was very much his right.

"I need to apologize to you," she made her voice as soft and genuine as possible, but he tested her by responding with an unfazed tone, "You need to or you want to? There's a difference." Gulping at his words, she felt her palms grow sweaty from anxiousness, "I-I want to, really, I do, Jimin."

"I really can't do this right now," he seemed too exhausted to even want to hear her out, but there is no way she's going to leave their current circumstance as it is. Maintaining a stable tone, she said, "Right, I get that. You're probably really tired and frankly, I don't think it's right for me to apologize over the phone. It should be in person. I want to see you today if possible." Nari internally fist-pumped the air at her clever response.