Double Love {ON HIATUS}

4- Bad Memories

    After breakfast, I rode Brooklyn back home on Charcoal Blue. I invited her parents over for dinner, port my mother's request, and they agreed, elated to meet my family. I rode back home, nervous for the evening. As soon as I walked in the door, I had punched Skylar in the arm. "What was that for?" She exclaimed, rubbing the sore area on her arm. "Why'd you tell Brooklyn we're together? Want it obvious I like her a lot?" Skylar laughed and patted my shoulder with her free hand. "Jay, chill. I was just messing with you, just tell her that we aren't saying and that's it." I rolled my eyes. "Easier said than done," I mumbled. "Why? You get tongue tied around her?" I didn't say anything, just looked down and walked away. Skylar laughed from behind me, yelling "Jason has a crush, Jason has a crush!" I was glad my mother was at work, or else that would've been embarrassing for me.
    I plopped myself down on my bed, looking up when I felt something nudge my foot. It was Buddy trying to snuggle up to me. I picked him up and brought him into my chest, his favorite spot on me, and thought. Ever since my dad left, things felt so empty in my life. I couldn't lose the one thing that could make me feel again; I wouldn't let it happen. I didn't think I'd be able to deal with the pain all over again. When my father had left, he had only gone a hundred miles away to work for the government, but I hadn't seen or heard from him since. Two months later, my mother's other daughter from a past relationship had come to live with us, since her father couldn't be there for her anymore. Skylar had brought some color to my otherwise gray life, but Brooklyn seemed like the real heroine of the story. Sky knows how much this means to me, why did she have to mess with me at that moment? I closed my eyes, trying to erase a painful memory that had just resurfaced, but to no avail.
Flashback
    "Dad! Can we go to the beach today?" He turned around to face me, but instead of smiling and hugging me like usual, he just sighed and turned back around. I was confused. Didn't he love going to the beach? "Not today, son. I have some more work to do." The same excuse had been reworded and used time and again for the past month, and I was increasingly losing my patience with my dad's boss, whoever that was. "Doesn't your boss know you have a family who misses you?" I muttered a bit too loudly. My father turned around and hugged me, the familiar comfort helping some of my anger dissipate. "Of course he does, bud, but this is important government work. Believe me, if I could skip all this annoying paperwork, I would. I miss hanging out with you and your mother, also, but this is serious business. Sorry, Jace."
    I nodded, understanding. "Maybe later?" He asked, hopeful that I would forgive him by then. I looked up, nodding. "We can?" He nodded, grinning. I wasn't mad at him, of course - just had some pent-up anger at his boss - but he didn't know that. He thought I was mad at him for not hanging out with his son and wife, and for working from early morning until late into the night because he wasn't close enough to his job to do anything less than that. So later that day, just as he had promised, we went to the beach with my mother and spent the rest of the afternoon as a family on the beach collecting shells. It was the last time we would be together as a family.
I woke up the next morning with an off feeling in my stomach, but I ignored it and went downstairs. On the first landing, I stopped and listened to the low murmur of my parents' voices. "Thomas, no," I heard my mother whisper. She only ever called my father "Thomas" when it was serious, so I was immediately worried. "You can't leave without saying goodbye to Jason. It'll break his heart, you know how close he is to you." It was silent for a long moment. "I know. That's why I don't want to say goodbye to him. It'll only hurt more, and I can't explain this all to a fourteen-year-old. It's too complicated." I heard something between a cough and a sob, and I was fairly certain it was my mother holding back her tears. "Tom, please. He deserves to know where his father is going to be when he wakes up and you know it. Please do it, if not for me than for him." When my father spoke next, his voice wobbled slightly."Maria, you know I can't hurt him like this. I'll only go upstairs and tell him I'll see him over the weekend-"
    "But will you really? Thomas, please don't lie to him. Just explain, he'll understand."
"Understand what?" I asked, making my presence known. I heard a sharp inhale of breath, then saw my mother look away as I walked down the remaining set of stairs. "Jason, I have to leave. I'm moving closer to my job, since I can't keep doing this. It isn't fair on you or your mother that we can't do things as a family anymore. This is for the best, Jace. I'll come back to visit every other weekend, so we'll still see each other, but I won't be living here anymore. I'm sorry, Jason." I just nodded, unable to form words. "I-It's okay, dad. I love you," I cried, hugging him. "I love you too, bud," he choked out. Then he kissed my mother one last time, exchanged "I love you's" with her, and left.
End flashback
    That was the last time I ever heard my father's voice. Holding back tears, I thought about the number of times he'd visited and the number of times he'd contacted us. Both numbers were the same: zero. I knew Brooklyn was the only thing left for me that was worth fighting for, but I was scared. Scared of losing the one thing I needed. I sat up, completely forgetting that Buddy was asleep on my chest. Drying my eyes, I checked the time. Ten, I thought. The Rodriguez family is coming at seven, which means I have around eight hours to kill. I hopped out of bed, quickly fixing my appearance before heading back downstairs and out the back door.
    "Have a nice nap?" Skylar asked me from the bottom of the stairs where she was seated. "Refreshing," I replied, laughing. She grinned, and I sat down next to her. "Any great revelations while you were knocked out? Did you finally figure out why I'm so incredibly amazing?" I rolled my eyes playfully. "Yeah, it's 'cause you're not." She gasped, faking offense and placing her hand over her heart. "Ouch. That one hurt, Jay." I grinned, looking out at the in-ground pool in front of us. "You're welcome," I chirped. "Okay, but seriously, what's got you all happy?" I looked over at her, met with a face full of curiosity. "Oh, it's nothing." She grinned, and I knew she was up to something. She tapped her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Hmm," she muttered. "Interesting... Does it perhaps have anything to do with a certain brown-eyed someone? Perhaps a great dream about the two of you riding off into the sunset happily?"
    I rolled my eyes. "No, weirdo. I just told you, I had a revelation about your idiocy." She pushed my shoulder playfully. "Go do what all the other nerds your age are doing these days, nerd," she said, frowning at the fluidity of her sentence. I laughed and stood up. "If all the other nerds are riding their horses across a peninsula-"
    "For a girl," she interjected.
    "-then that's what I'll be doing. Adios." I walked off towards the stables, stopping only to duck through the tiny path Skylar and I had created through the bushes behind our house.