As I Close My Eyes

The New Queen

     The girl was only nineteen and her family had sold her to a royal family. She was to marry a prince and become a queen someday. She could not see herself as a queen, she could only see herself as a little girl who never wanted to grow up. She hated her family for giving her away to a man for money. She knew she was beautiful and she knew the king had wanted her for that reason. She perked up when a man walked into her room that had felt more like a cell. It had only been a week since she was taken from her old life and the king has yet to make an appearance. People kept saying he was too busy to see her or something like that. A man walked into the room. He was talking to someone behind him in the hall and when he turned around she noticed that he was very good looking. She guessed him to be in his twenties. His eyes went to hers and she wondered if he thought she was beautiful. The girl chastised herself, she was supposed to marry the king, her childish heart should not be thinking about other men. He came close and bowed.
"Good morning, Miss. My name is John Warren and the king has told me to be your guard and escort, there is also a schedule for you. Let's see..." John Warren pulled out a small piece of paper with writing on it. "Oh yes, the first thing we shall go to would be breakfast, then you have etiquette classes, dancing classes, lunch, study, and dinner. After dinner you are to do as you please." The girl felt overwhelmed, but It was also nice having a guard, she felt safe.
  "Okay, but when will I be able to see the king?" John tried to answer the best he could without offending the girl.
"That decision is up to him, he will see you when he wants to see you. He is a very cautious man so he probably wants to make sure that you're a perfect wife before you marry." John thought he answered well. The girl didn't know if this was to be offensive or if he was just being honest. She decided honest. After the girl didn't move from her spot so John used his hands and motioned toward the door. She rolled her eyes, but got up and walked out the door. The two of them walked down a long hall with paintings that had never seen anyone, but the people who had walked down this hallway. John looked at the girl. She looked angry. John didn't care much for moods like this. He decided to make her laugh. He started with a sarcastic and boisterous voice; "Hurry! We must go and study the rules of the land!" Then, He pointed onward and marched. The girl looked at him. The image was so strange she let down her guard and laughed. She swore under her breath. Some of her walls had broken off. John gave her a radiant and winning smile. The smile made her forget what she was thinking. That was all it had taken and her last wall was obliterated. She smiled back. She had practiced with John every day and started to feel utterly comfortable with him, they were becoming friends. It had marked two months at the castle and she had still never seen the king's face. She wondered if he was real. Sometimes she would have nightmares about him. He would always appear in her dreams without a face. She told John and he would dispel the nightmares and reassure her that he wasn't a bad man. One day the two of them were walking down the corridor and the sun slipped through the big beautiful windows of the castle, she basked in it. She loved the rain, but loved the sun in a different way, it reminded her of the days when she would run around her big house and garden chasing her little sisters and laughing so hard she would fall to the ground. She wanted to paint the moment, but had no canvas. She told John about this feeling and he smiled at her, but the smile looked forced. He seemed troubled. She asked him what was wrong? He stepped close and time stopped. He suddenly looked at her as if she was the only thing left on this earth. She took a sharp breath in.
"I have tried so very hard, but I just can't do it anymore." His face went into his hands. She was perplexed.
"What can't you do anymore?" The next words that he said were so low she thought it was the wind.
   "I can't pretend that I don't love you." The girl was only nineteen as she took a Johns' hands away from his face and kissed him slowly.
   "I was never really good at pretending either." John and the girl were in love, but it was like fire, consuming everything in its path and very dangerous. Their fates intertwined. The king had not known for a very long time, until one of his servants made it clear to him that his queen to be was having an affair with one of the royal guards. The king was outraged. He could kill the queen and her lover, but he wanted to make her suffer. How could she do this to him after everything that he had given her? Instead, he would make a game out of it. An entertaining one.  John yelled her name but she could not hear him, she was nowhere he could find. The cell she was in was small and cold. She heard people cheering in the stands. They were going to make her fight. She didn't want to fight. Then she thought about death and fighting seemed like the better option. John was pushed into the fighting gate as the girl was put into hers. John stepped out first with intent to kill, but he saw her. He saw the beautiful woman he fell in love with and dropped to his knees. There was no reason to fight. The king would never be satisfied if they both lived. All that the girl saw could see was a man fall to his knees. This fight will be easy then, she thought. With her hands outstretched she sent a smoke cloud as thick as tar was his way. The man did not defend himself, he was still on his knees with his face in his hands. The smoke had made it to him clouded around him. It choked him until, he stopped moving. The man fell onto the ground. Any life that was in the man became a memory. The room boomed with cheers, but she could not hear the cheers for she had seen the face of the man. It was John. Her John. She screamed and ran towards him. The tears had taken root inside her eyes and her entire being. She thought she might drown in her tears, but she did not. When she got close to John she reached down to touch the familiar face. Two  big hands reached out and grabbed both of hers.
   "Seems like we have a winner!" The king put up both of her hands and into the air. She violently shook her hands out of his grasp. With every ounce of power she had left, she screamed.
   "Why, why did he have to die? He didn't even fight back. I killed him and he.. He.. He's gone!"  The only thing left to hold the girl together was hate. She looked to the king, his smile as large as his ego. The king looked at her as she fixed her stance. Hate consumed her. Using both of her hands the girl created a whirlwind of smoke. People in the stands instantly grew quiet. Every eye was fixed on the scene in the arena. The king did not look disturbed, actually, he looked calm. Her smoke reached the king, he put up a single finger and the smoke dissipated. Cheers erupted from the stands, and the king gave a glorious laugh.
   "Oh little girl. There is no way you, could ever beat me." Another laugh. Every inch of the girl was exhausted. Somehow she was on the ground again. She didn't want to listen to anymore, but the king had more to say. "Well, you learned your lesson, haven't you? You see, there was no way you could ever beat me because my abilities allow me to... Well, get rid of yours. Make them disappear in an instant." The kings smile turned snake like. He was a viper ready to strike. The girl's eyes went wide, and her body rigid. Can there actually be something like that? An ability like this could bring disaster thought the girl. Fear crept into the edges of her mind. The king decided he wanted to keep this girl. She'd make a good queen, because she's afraid and with thought the king had her drug out of the arena, and she did not try to go against his will. She would live out her life, as is his queen. Fear being the only thing controlling her. It had been four months since John's death and she would never forgive herself or the king, but when she looked down she noticed her stomach getting bigger, and bigger with every passing day. She was not the only one to notice this. The king had noticed as well. The girl wanted to keep the child. It was the last piece of John that she had. With all of her conviction she convinced the king to keep this child and somehow he agreed.
  There was a condition to this agreement though. The child was to be raised as a bastard child and never to be accepted anywhere it went. It would never be allowed to be shown love. The child was to be an outcast everywhere it went. 
For years the King would not notice the secret love she would show the child. The King would remain oblivious. This is how she raised the child for two years until one evening when the queen was in her study and the king walked in.
   "Hello, dear." The king said. The girl thought of all the offensive things she could say to him, but all that came out of her mouth was, 
"What do you need, my king?"
   "A child." She looked at the man standing before her. She was only twenty one. There was so much more time. No way was this happening. Hadn't she given him everything he asked for. Why this? Why?  The queen knew she couldn't fight it. The king was too powerful, and she was just a jaded woman.  She got out of her chair and waked over to the king.
"Okay." Was all she said.
   "That's my girl." He opened the door for her and she walked out of the room with the king following behind her.  The next child she would have belonged to the king.