Little Talks

January 6th 2014

The familiar, and much dreaded sound of the school bell rings through my ears.

"Last semester of senior year" Dean exclaims, grabbing my shoulder.

"We still have A levels to get through" I remind him.

He smiles down at me, him towering over everyone and everything.

"You're so... so... ugh, you're always right" he exclaims, exasperated.

We walk down the familiar hallways, looking at the faded yellow lockers lining the walls.

I meet Willow by her locker, and embrace her in a hug as she kisses me.

I try to ignore the hurt look I see flash across Deans face.

Flashback
March 2013

The heavy rain beats down on the tin roof.

I look out at the lifeless forest, the trees still leafless from the harsh winter.

Winter never ended that spring, and in March it was still raining every day.

When I was 7, my dad took me to this cabin in the woods.

He said he and his family used to spend weekends up there.

I tried, and failed, to imagine anyone ever staying in there.

The walls were rusted and the furniture was covered in layers of dust. The wooden floors creaked when you walked and the glass windows had been smashed. A thousand pieces of broken glass lay scattered around the floor.

"I'm going to fix it up, bud. What do you say? With a paint job and new walls, it will be as good as new. We'll go on family camping trips here in the summer."

I nodded, smiling.

He had this glint in his eyes, he was determined.

A week later he knocked down all of the walls, and got rid of the crumbly furniture.

For weeks on end he took me to the woods and I would watch as he tore the cabin apart.

The renovation was going splendidly, and at the fast rate dad was going at, it would be ready for us to use by the autumn.

One day, however, it began to rain. Dad, who was working on the roof, slipped whilst climbing down the ladder, wet and slippery from the rain.

It all happened so fast, one minute he was humming along to the portable radio and the next moment he was falling, screaming for help.

It was a very long fall, and he hit his head, resulting in a concussion.

By the time help arrived, it was too late.

Needless to say, he never finished.

Mum refuses to go down to the cabin, it breaks her heart. I go here every so often though, when I need to clear my head. Today, is the 8th anniversary of my fathers death, so despite the heavy downpour I made my way to the woods, and have been here all day.

The rain drops down through the cracks in the roof, the cabin doing little to shield me from the cold wind blowing through the spaces where the walls are supposed to be.

I sit and think, staring into the vast distance, when I hear a twig snap, and feet shuffling towards me.

I look up and see Dean, looking as good as ever, in a tight shirt showcasing his muscles and ripped jeans, smiling down at me.

Dean is the only person who knows about my secret spot, and I smile in relief as soon as he sits down next to me.

"Hey, I knew you'd be here" he whispers.

"Oh Dean, It's the anniversary" I manage to reply, my voice shaky, tears on the verge.

"I know, I know" he looks at my sympathetically, before grasping my hand.

He strokes my fingers, and a shiver runs through my whole body.

"I feel so alone sometimes."

"You have me Tom, you'll always have me."

Dean leans in and his lips meet mine. I shudder, about to push him off me, friends aren't supposed to kiss. But I can't bring myself to do it.

I lose myself in his lips, my whole body feels alive, like an electric charge is running through my veins. I forget about my fathers death, and the fact that I'M KISSING A BOY FOR HEAVENS SAKE.

And just as quickly, it's all over. I push Dean off me.

"What the hell dude, are you kidding me? I don't like boys!" I yell, my face turning beetroot red.

"Well it sure didn't seem that way" he mutters, before storming off.

I am alone once again, and somehow feeling worse than ever.