Electric lovers (Jay x Reader)

I will try to fix you

Jay looked at her. "(y/n) you have you're own problems. Don't take on mine also." She frowned giving him a stern look. "Lloyd and Camilla fell in love. I'm breaking up with him....... my problem is solved. Yours is more urgent anyways." Jay frowned and turned away from her. " I don't need help. I just want to die so I can stop being weak."

(Y/n) sighed and hugged him. She had a few tears trickling from her eyes like a springs soft light rain storm. Her heart was broken for him she didn't know what to do. All she knew was to be there for him.

She held him tightly in her arms. She never wanted to let go. She never wanted to say goodbye. All she wanted was for him to be okay. "Jay?"

Jay sighed and looked at her no tears left in his eyes, all he felt was pain and he couldn't express it by tears. They wouldn't come any longer. "Hmm?" he asked softly, pain relevant in his tone of voice. "How did you come to be this depressed?" His eyes widened as the question was asked. "None of that matters." (y/n) looked at him sternly. "It does matter." He sighed. "I thought I loved Nya, but then I realized the girl I always have loved was taken and how much it hurt."

(Y/n) was taken aback. She had no words. She didn't know how to respond. Had the one he always loved been her? 'No.' she told herself. He rejected you. There has to be another girl.

Although she had loved Lloyd she still had a place for Jay in her heart. "Who is it, Jay?"

He wanted to speak but then quickly shut his mouth. "Now that, I won't say. Nope. Its too late to say who." She looked at him trying to find the right words to say. She then grabbed each of his wrists. One wrist in each hand, carefully pulling up the sleeves, she kissed every scar, and cut he had upon each of his wrists. Jay was a flustered mess. He was blushing but oh no he could never show her that he was talking about her. It would destroy her. He carefully removed his wrist and looked away in embarrassment.

(Y/n) sighed feeling/ knowing how uncomfortable he was. Yet, only if she knew that he yearned for her lips to touch his skin, and to touch his lips day by day. He wasn't uncomfortable a bit, actually for a quick moment he was happy. He finally felt loved...

"Jay, when are you going to stop waiting for everything to be perfect, and start enjoying your life?" He looked straight into her eyes. "What life is there to enjoy?"

She sat stunned at his words. Was he suicidal? She certainly hoped not. That would be the worst thing to go through. To see her first love go through suicidal stages, and all she could do was pray each day that he would not bring himself to actually do the act of killing himself. If she couldn't get him happy she would have to have anxiety day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second upon second. She would live in constant fear that she would have to speak at a funeral for her once suicidal friend.

Jay seemed to get the look in her eyes. Yes he was suicidal. Yes he didn't want to live in pain, but no he didn't want to leave his beloved (y/n) (l/n). So many things he wanted to tell her but knew he couldn't because he lived in constant fear of getting rejected by (y/n) like he once did to her. The rejection that lead to this depression, to this love, to his suicidal behavior and thoughts, to his demise.

"(Y/n) I-" He started trying to find the words to say. Those words, although, never seemed to come.

She grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. "Take a shower, wash off this day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Notice it's still beating still fighting. Don't let it stop. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You are doing just fine."

Hey it's been awhile! just been having some struggles and trying to find myself and friends! I hope you enjoy it was mostly a filler but I also wanted it to be short and sweet. Love will Win will most likely be up tomorrow or this weekend!