I guess I'm using wattpad as my personal diary again, mainly because no one will listen to me in real life and it would be a big shame if I let all of my "comical" experiences go to waste.
So, let me re-introduce myself, my name is Kamaria. I'm sixteen and I am just starting my junior year of high school. Yes I know this is a big leap from when I had last updated this but I'm not really big on consistency. While on the topic of consistency, I haven't really changed. Meaning, my life is still an embarrassing shit show.
Guess I should start off where I'm at now, summer. I'm at a big low point in my life. A person who meant the world to me left. I'm the black sheep in my family, and I feel like all of my friends are growing tired of me. I'd much rather die of asphyxiation tonight then see tomorrow morning. Nothing really matters to me right now. And I guess I'm writing right now to fill the void. It's freeing to write without any direction, in a cheesy way I guess it makes me happy in all.
My depression comes in spells, when it does rear it's ugly head, I feel useless, which is how I feel now.
My guardian had called me stupid,weak and a list of other things today. I still feel like shit from that I guess. It's sad when your "family" sees you as a nuance, I would leave but there's no place to go.
I constantly try to show that I am worthy. Strong, I tried out for the wrestling team, and made it but she had forced me to quit. I take honors and AP classes to show that I'm smart but nothing I do matters, I have so much distrust in my system I feel like I'm about to explode, I have tears in my eyes now, but I can't pin-point them to sadness or anger, maybe it lands in the middle.
10:20 pm
23/07/2018
Kamaria Johnson (I don't feel alright)
YOU ARE READING
My Life
RandomMy life is just a spiral of sadness I'm highkey just some wannabe edgy teen looking for validation from others
