I couldn't see. There was only black. Darkness. Coldness, with the faint, stinging feeling of the growing pain burning in my chest. I knew not whether I was alive, or dead, but I knew I was conscious. Not completely conscious, but nonetheless enough to identify that I was indeed somewhere, whether it was in life, or death, or in between.
There was no sound, but I could hear. Soon a faint tapping drew my thoughts together, bringing me to reality, wherever that happened to be.
Tap, tap, tap.
I wouldn't move. I couldn't move. Every muscle inside my small, fragile body was immobilized, as if I had been injected with cement and it had hardened.
Tap, tap, tap.
I couldn't open my eyes, nor make a sound. I was helpless, hopeless. Swathed in my own darkness I layed there, defenseless and vulnerable, and still the sound came closer.
Tap, tap-
Stop.
I waited. Someone had come. What did they want? To kill me? No, probably not. Aren't I already dying? Why would they come to kill me a second time? I'm dying, aren't I?
Aren't I?
Aren't I?
Aren't I...
"No, you're not."
At that moment I became aware of a tired, slow sound. It was pulsing, and rhythmic. Like a tiny drum. It was a beautiful sound, but at the same time it was broken. It was broken.
Just like me.
I could feel suddenly, a hand, that had come down to connect with the bare skin beneath my shirt, feeling directly over the source of the beautiful, broken sound.
"The grief that does not speak whispers the o'erfraught heart, and bids it break."
I could see again. I was unsure why, or how, but suddenly I was redeemed the gift of movement, as I gazed up into the eyes of the one who would take me. Take me back to the world I was robbed from, on the day I was born. The angel I had loved for so long, who had promised to meet me again.
But I didn't expect to see him so soon.
"Hello, Peter."
"Hello, Abel."
My angel smiled, and so did I. Because I was here, it was over. It was all over. And I'm here with my angel again.
"Why does it hurt, Abel?" I spoke quietly in the silence of our unclear environment.
"You haven't passed on yet." he replied. He was smiling, though I was aware of liquid spilling from his now tainted eyes.
"So, I'm not dead?"
"Yes, you are."
"So why am I here?"
My angel leaned forward, leaning his forehead against mine, attempting to calm his own thoughts through an action of affection. He sighed, and I recognized it.
He was nervous.
"Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I will always be in your heart, if you hate me, I will always be in your mind."
My angels golden irises locked with my blue ones, uncertain and frightened.
"Tell me, Peter, do you love me?"
He was crying. He looked lost, and broken, his now ebony black wings grazing the floor on either side of me, the wings that he had lost because of me.
Because of me.
"Because if you love me, Peter, then just that fact will make everything okay."
We were both in tears, both of us so close to each other, yet at the same time we were miles apart. We couldn't pass on, neither of us. Because it was my fault that my angel had fallen too deep into the one thing that sacred beings like him were forbidden to fall into.
Not love, no, that wasn't the problem.
It was his personal desire.
His selfishness.
Everything changed after that. Abel was never the same, and would never be the same. Nor would I. I wasn't the kind boy I was before either. I was a demon. A demon,
Who tainted and destroyed the heart of an angel.
If you love me, then just that fact will make everything okay.
But will it? All I've ever wanted was paradise. Heaven, so to speak. But where was heaven at this point? Where was hell? It was true yes, they were both here, but where were they? What defines the difference between the two? If hell was only for sinners, and heaven was for the pure, then I was sure that absolutely no human being was ever allowed in heaven, because no one is human without having sin.
What is your definition of heaven, Peter?
That's easy, love.
Then you have already made it.
Before I was even able to register my bodies own movements, my lips were connected with Abel's in an answer to the question I had in fact known the answer to the whole time.
"Do you love me, Peter?"
"Yes, Abel, I do love you."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, a void of darkness began enveloping my vision, and I felt suction pulling me apart from my angel.
"I'll wander through hell for all eternity with you if I have to." My angel assured, the suction increasing as a chute of pitch black, pulsing darkness split open beneath our feet, dragging us down,
down,
down...
Abel's grip on me tightened long enough for him to embrace me one last time, before we were both whisked to opposite sides of the violent darkness, and my body was immobilized once again. And the darkness in which I was bathed in before returned.
But is it true, that hell can be heaven for some?
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Lol. actually wrote this for a school story project so I guess I really took it seriously. xD Hope y'all like! Vote! Comment!
-Nancy <3
