Let us Love - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 6

Okay. This is the moment. The good moment. Harry you have to do this now. You need to know. You have right to know it.

Oh god

But he just snuggled down on the sofa and he looks so sweet and maybe i'll upset him. Maybe he'll pack his bag and leave. Maybe this will be the end of whatever we had.

No Harry you are going to do this now.

Don't be a pussy!

Okay. Breathe in and out. What if we'll get into a fight? I don't want to fight with this beautiful boy.Jesus i'm gay.

I walk over to the sofa. I'm going to show the weed into his face so he can't deny anything. 'Louis' 'Hm' he hums, not really paying attention to me. I take the plastic bag out of my pocket and show it in front of his nose. 'Can i maybe have an explanation for this? And don't tell me this is fucking icing sugar' I'm being harsh but i'll have to be. He didn't keep his promise, we would always be honest to eachother. And i don't want louis to put his emotions away in this kind of way. Not with this filthy stuff. Louis looks over to my hand and his face turns into shocked. He looks at me with his puppy eyes, i look away. I don't want eye contact now.

He sighs.

'You found out'

'Yes. I still don't have an explanation' i spit out

. Louis buries his face into his hands. 'I'm so sorry'.

'Louis i thought we made a promise?! We should trust eachother and tell eachother our problems and struggles. How can i trust you if you are holding things like this back for me? How can I live with a heroine addict or even worse, a dealer?!'

Louis doesn't say anything, he just nods as a sign that i'm right.

'Harry. I promise you that i'm not a dealer. I had a very hard time when i still lived at my hometown and i found out that i was gay. I didn't want to tell my family because i was scared, i fell in love with a friend of mine and he never wanted to see me again. And nobody liked me and everybody used to insult me. I got involved in this drugs thing and soon i realized it took my pain away. My mum found out and we got into a lot of fights. She wanted me to go to go to a rehab center but i told her it wasn't that bad and that i didn't need it. I had plans for moving out of Doncaster and move to London to study, so that was already paid. But I moved to London earlier because i couldn't take it anymore, not really saying a well goodbye to my family. But the problems didn't stop'

I sigh. Jesus i really feel bad for him. I shouldn't have been such a dickhead 2 minutes ago.

'But then you came and you was so nice to me and you took me for who i am. nobody ever did that. I was scared that you wouldn't be so nice anymore when i would tell you about me. I was afraid i would fall in love with you and that you didn't want to have anything to do with me. That's why i didn't tell you about this. I still am scared that i will lose you. For some reason you became extremely important to me the last 2 months. You understand me. I can be myself when I'm with you. You seem to get the best out of me every time, and i never felt this before. And i'm very scared. That i'm not good enough and that i will lose you again just like i lost my friend. But you are giving me all the time and space i need and you are so nice to me. But your friends think i am a weirdo and i am. I don't want you be worried and
get involved in all my problems because you don't deserve that.' He slides his thumb across the corner of his eye. It was a tear he wiped away.

'Louis I'

'Shh. Harry please don't say you forgive me because you can't. I totally agree with you. You can't trust me anymore.'

'Louis, I trust you. I trust you because of i can read your eyes. I can see you are going through so much pain, and i know it isn't fake because i know your feeling. I was afraid you all acted this, and that you were a drugsdealer. But after you told me this story, i am completely convinced that you are telling the truth. I will trust you no matter what. I......I love you'

Shit harry did you really have to let that out shit what if he doesn't love you.

Louis face clears up and his eyes are sparkling. He falls into my arms and hugs me tightly. He wraps his arms around my neck and shoulders and slightly sniffles with his face buried in my shirt. I rub his back, give in and nuzzle my face ito his neck and inhale his warm scent.

'I love you too'

Oh my god. I don't know what happened to my stomach but the rare feeling is back. Thousands of butterflies. They tickle my tummy but i love it.

'God this was one of the most scariest things in my life ever' He laughed a little nervous

I thought it was very cute

'I'm gonna help you in all of this' I smiled

'Harry will you please be mine?'

And he is asking be to be his. Hi another amount of butterflies

'Yeah....Ofcourse' He lets go of me.

I now realize what he just said. A bright smile appears on my face and so does it on his face. Oh i love you. I freaking love you Louis Tomlinson. I don't know how that happened so fast, but i love you. God please kiss me.

As he could read my mind, he kisses me on my lips. It is a bit less steamy then the last one we had but it's so much passion. I feel the love. Oh how cliche. I just can't explain, it is probably the best feeling in the world.

I now pull him down to the couch and i sit with my back against the side. I lay him inbetween my legs, with his back pressed down on my belly. I kiss his hair as my right hand intertwine with his. With my right hand i start to brush his hair and he strokes with his hand over my legs. 'Do you like lying like this?' I feel him smile shyly. 'Yes. You too?' 'Yeah' It is probably like 12 pm now and i don't have the power to stand up and walk over to the bedroom. By the way, i don't want to get out of this position with this lovely boy lying down on me, stroking my face and hair, as i keep kissing his head.

Oh hell yeah i like to sit like this oh i do