I am sleeping. I am in a long, fathomless sleep, and I can’t wake up. I cannot be pulled out of this dark world I’m in, but the thing is, I don’t want to be.
When I wake up I’m in my bed, but not in my room. I’m surrounded by darkness with the hugesensation of a throbbing pain at the side of my head.
I can hear the faint beat of a drum, the beat of my heart.
It echoes around the room, bouncing off the walls like a child flooded with sugar.
Ithought to myself, I don’t like the darkness, and then it became bright. I was cold and soon after had a warm jacket hugging my shoulders. I dreamed of a welcoming meadow with dandelions all around and a bright sun and it came to be. I had the ability to do whatever I wanted to.
I’ve created a world for myself; an escape route from something that happened in my past.
I sat in my world, trying hard not to think too much. It came easy to me. The air smelled clean and new. Relaxation swam through me, but I wasn’t at peace. I could feel it past the fresh air and grass. I was alone. This consumed me for a while and my world disappeared with this feeling. It shockingly, slowly faded away.
I was confused and depressed, when I saw a figure from far away come to me, waving ‘hello.’ He came closer, treading through the tall grass that parted ways for him.
His stunningly white teeth blinded me. I wanted to run my fingers through his dark hair and touch his soft face.
“My name is Alexander.” He introduced himself while scratching his jet black hair.
“I umm….” The thought had never crossed my mind. I hadn’t remembered anything about
myself. Questions swarmed around me as I realized my surroundings. Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here? I was pulled out of my daze when Alexander nudged me in an all-too-familiar way.
“I don’t know my name.” He laughed at me sweetly.
He was perfect. I felt like I had known him forever, though we’d just met.
We spent a long time together after that. Every non-ending day I had was used with Alex. He was my best friend, a friend I had known for a long time.
We wouldn’t talk much about anything, but his presence spoke every word known to man. We laughed at clouds and sulked at the rain. We would sing and dance and stand in complete silence. We were one, and I wouldn’t let him leave me to be alone again.
~
It seemed that as time went by things would get foggier and grey. From time to time I would feel out of my own body. I believed that belonged to a world greater than this fantasy.
The closer I got to Alex, the more aware I was of the panging pain in my head. The worse the pain got, the more it seemed like Alex was slowly fading away from me.
I felt responsible for it; like I did something wrong, but I didn’t know what.
