Hello to my future family.
Whether my children are male or female. I will love you unconditionally. Whether I am male or female I will still love you. Whether my partner is male or female I will always love you. I don't know who I am yet. I don't know you yet, either. But I love you. I'm only 12 but I know I will have you, I will have a family and I will try to be perfect.
To my children. I hope you grow up happier than me. Even though I'm 12 I've been through more than most people. I've been through abuse, parents divorcing, bullying, depression and suicidal thoughts. I wish none of that for you. I will try to make you happy. I will try to make sure none of that happens to you but I can't control you. I will give you the privacy you need; I will not try to know everything about you. I understand that you have secrets. I have a whole secret life that no one knows about. And I will tell you that secret life because I love you and I trust you because you are my closest friends.
That's what your children should be. Not your slaves. Not your enemy. Not your success story. They should be your friends. I love my friends. I don't push my friends to be what I wish I was. I let them be who they want to be. I don't hit my friends. I don't abuse them. I don't starve them and I don't try to scar them. If they have problems I listen to them. I don't judge them and I don't put them down for my own gain because I gain nothing from hurting the people I care about. I love them and I love you.
To my partner. There's a reason I love you. Whether you're a girl or a boy I love you. Whether I'm a girl or a boy I hope you'll love me back. Whether I marry you or not I'll love you. I'll help you through anything and I hope you'll do the same. I won't be demanding. I won't yell or scream at you. I won't hurt you and if we have a disagreement I will still say I love you. I will trust you but appreciate that it will take time to gain my trust. People have hurt me. People have lied to me. I have let people in only to have them destroy me. If you do that to me I will leave. Don't think you can get away with hurting me physically or emotionally. It will get around. I am not your sex slave. I am not your servant and I am not your mother.
Do things for yourself. The only male in my life that I look up to is my step dad. He cooks and cleans. He helps my mum with everything and vice-versa. If someone is hurt he fixes them. He's been through pain but he is perfect. He is the balance of strong/independent and sensitive/social. He understands emotions and hurt because he's been through that. You don't have to be exactly like him but don't be the opposite. Help me with things. Console me. Be understanding to people around you and I will do the same back. I will love you unconditionally but only if you do the same to me.
If you want to know me now then read this. YouTube probably still exists. But the two people I love on this website might not. Their names are Daniel James Howell and Phillip Michael Lester. More commonly known as Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil. I've been watching them for most of my life and they are one of the only reasons I'm still here today. If you ever meet them thank them. Thank them for helping so many people. Thank them for teaching me so many things about myself. Those little silly music videos Phil did so many years ago. The reason I love singing.
On that topic I don't know where I'll end up in 15-20 years. I don't know if I'll still like singing or anything I like today. But you should know who I am. Whether it's when I meet you or when I was so much younger. You should know me. So hi. I'm Amelie Joy Gillett (Turner). I love Dan and Phil, Twenty one pilots, P!ATD, Fall Out Boy, MCR and you.
