Past. This past not in my mind alone but also in my heart. It feels like it is a tattoo that broad in my heart for me to never forget. I have experienced to be a prisoner once and I don’t want to comeback. I am a prisoner in this cold rails and my police guard is the monster that keeping me, and it don’t want me to leave. I want to escape from this hell. And I want now to be with her, my heaven. My only hope, Sabrina Adison Mercado.
Change. This is not new to me anymore. Change of living, neighborhoods, school, classmates and teachers. Friends? I don’t have friends because of this hobby of my Dad and along with step mother to leave our house and city every 2 months because, he is a Civil Engineer. His project is all over the world. We even went to Paris for his project. He can’t just take leaving us alone for long. That’s how he loves us, or my Stepmom. He leaves me to my stepmom that hate me that’s why she hurts me, that’s why I’m afraid and hate woman that is called Gynophobia. Another result, I am a shy 5 years old boy, I cannot be with others and be friend with others easily. And now, it’s my first class in Grade 2. I am 3 years accelerated because of my high IQ. I thought after 2 months we’ll move again to another city but now, no. it is strange that we last in this city for 12 years already and all of these years Sabrina, is the girl persuaded herself to be friend with me and she is also there to help to get along with others and I must say I have a trustworthy friends of mine. I am happy now. We are now in 2nd year of college in Great Saints University and I am taking Bachelor of Business Management and all this time Sabrina and I never failed to be on the Dean’s Lister. However, I know she’s keeping a secret from me. A secret that I am afraid to know…
Feelings. I know that she have a romantic feelings for me and she’s keeping all this time. And I’m afraid that it might go deeply that we get hurt, mostly her. Graduation day is the most unbreakable day for Sabrina. I broke her heart and leave her without saying anything. Now, I regret everything I did and said to her that day. From the very start I like her not as a friend but more than that, something special. I love her but I’m afraid that I might hurt her because of my past. I may not give her what ‘girlfriends’ want from their boyfriends. I might her hurt. But I know that is unreasonable. I should face her and say to her my feelings. I should feel her that I regret everything and I love her. Even though, it is hard for me even her. I should face the consequences and do everything to win her heart. She sacrifice, I should return the favor too. Now! I must say all of this things happened to us for a reason. What if I didn’t realize that I love her? What if I didn’t persuade her to love me again? What if I didn’t ask her to be with me? If I won’t, I wouldn’t be this happy and thankful that I am with my wife, Sabrina Adison Greene together with our twins, Trinna Angelica Greene and James Tyrone Greene. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.
